my sportsrpf zoo

[sarcoline]

another #loweffort f1 shitpost but i take my animal designations very seriously... maybe this is the inherent kpop stan in me

• oscar piastri - BUNNY 🐰

bunny 100% i know the f1 cfan farming sim game has him as a koala due to australianosity i assume but he is 100% bunny to me. maybe a case for bunnycat could be made but i'm trying (and failing) to not assign everyone cat it's not my fault cat-sona is so prevalent amongst my faves. the nose scrunch and hair-trigger blush is just so bunny. bnnuy even. clipped it for ellen during the singapore gp but crofty calling oscar "not a happy bunny" on live tv has only further cemented the oscbunny-shaped psychosis in my brain.

• max verstappen - lion / cat 🦁🐱

successful self-branding on max’s part for sure, but like (least objective voice ever) from an objective standpoint… look at the evidence. he is a lion. predator animal on the hunt. maneater!!! idk. cfans have assigned him pufferfish which is haha funny for jokes and whatnot but he is literally the most lion to ever have lioned To Me…although he turns into unserious silly orange cat quite often esp outside of the car.

• charles leclerc - mouse / cat / mousecat 🐭🐱

… i mean self-evident as fuck, but popular fanon assigned serval also works. cfans ubiquitously call him kitty/cat/any variation of the above and it’s so cute. i agree rt x10000. the mousey quality to his face is more on the side of disney cartoon mouse as opposed to like. Rodent. not that there’s anything wrong with Rodents. arthur, for example, is more rodent.

• george russell - snake (/POS x3) 🐍

georgie is sooo snake-coded to me like obviously physically ie beautiful venomous white snake with neon blue green eyes… beguiling reptile creature. and then personality-wise as well with the *vague hand gestures* which is /pos to me i like snakes i’ve always loved snakes!!! george horse is also a consideration, as well as deer/gazelle maybe due to his long legs and general air of ummm creature that spooks easily.

• ollie bearman - BEAR snake 🐻 🐍 

ollie has built-in nominatively determined animalsona for free, and while he is pretty much embodying bear to me in all the ways that matter (tall, pacific ocean sized shoulders, cheerful teddybearsona) there's also an element of snake habitat finance major to me.. even if kimi is allegedly the true business major between the two of them like it's literally about the vibe. 

• kimi antonelli - lamb baby deer 🐏 🦌 

obviously he is so new and guileless baby animal creature but also his canines are so sharp... and the definitely impure carnal way he has been locked in on max lately... #if a lamb was a carnivore

• lewis hamilton - otter 🦦 panther 🐆 

maybe i’m too susceptible to propaganda but the cfans ate with this animal assignment. he is so otter! compact and cute and inscrutable. i see panther being used quite a bit too. 

• carlos sainz - dog 🐶

giant wet dog eyes. probably something like a labrador? a black lab. 

• carlos alcaraz - puppy 🐶

dogs afff rt the guy who said carlos is like one of those dogs that loves his plushie soooooo much he tears it to pieces and then tilts his head in confusion and cries. overeager overexcited cuppydog. who kills you. /pos <3

• jannik sinner - fox 🦊

obviously fox bc of the orangosity, but he also got those baby deer legs and glass ankles… like if a fox was a deer and wished to become a boy.

• alex de minaur - mouse 🐭🐁

i assume this is self explanatory. more rodent-y than charles imo. like charles is cartoon mouse and demon is one of those mice you find at petco. if that makes sense.

• elena rybakina - fish / bird 🐠🐦

i know this one is also company/self-assigned but it's working it works. she's literally so fishy to me with her blank stare and resting expression (that isn’t quite a pout? i think she would need lip filler for that but i don’t want that we have enough botox baddies on tour thank you). bird is just vibes i don’t need to explain my poetry iykyk. maybe a little bunny as well her teeth are so charming when they show in the 2sec of smiles per tournament. rybotkina <3

• alexandra saint mleux - deer / bird / (swan) 🦌🐤🦢

yes im including wags tf i look like. someone with a job? anyway alexandra bambi princess confirmed and bird honestly didn't settle in for me until her wedding ig story pic of mouse/bird in the ferrari but it is true that alex is bird... her beak! and then posture elegance etc etc all very swan coded.

Comments

[rhodochrosite]

SOOO TRUE RT EVERYTHING the way i was litr thinking about writing up a list of animal emoji assignments too (rafa camara owl🦉 the only other one i wouldve had on my list maybe kimi fawnlambwolf ollie snake but i think he has another animal dna in him i havent figured out what yet). im pretty sure one of the first things i ever said about lena was that she has resting scared bird face she really does have blankly alarmed neutral expression thats fishbirdbunnygoat the world<3 alex deerswan well yes beautiful elegant prey animal i mean who said that

[sarcoline]

ok literally you can tell how little proofreading i did before hitting post bc how did i forget BEARNELLI... my bad man . it is added now :) and your boy really does look so owl there is a vaguely haunted look in his eyes.. the horrors of impending ferrari legacy inheritance <33 i would've added alba had i been more confident about assigning her anything one way or another.. perhaps bunny but like. Alien version...... due to her eyes and general scandi elfishness?

[rhodochrosite]

wow u can also really tell its past midnight for me cause how the fuck i forget ollie BEARman already has a nominatively determined government sponsored animalsona I was thinking so much about happy baby snake. yeah I think you were right when you said alba bunny version of I'm literally shaking buy her brown contacts pls.. Alba and wonyo alien bunny idol princesses yes