sarcoline: (Default)
yes i got into f1 ten months ago no i do not care for any of the big government assigned yaoi—EXCEPT for 3316 fake ass made-up fake so fake it ends up being kinda real ship that is textually held together by the overblown cliche childhood rivals karting lore and max's retcon shoujo-tinted horse blinders charles love-vision. nonetheless i begrudgingly acknowledge respect the textual reality of canon relationships / friendships on the f1 grid bc i am a scholar first and foremost. so here are the ships that are "real" to me, i.e. have so much textual basis i would consider it canon, never said that it was good or that i liked it tho.

if 'girl whatever' was a list )
sarcoline: (Default)
clickbait title 😂 well i suppose i'm half-serious...? as an avid bl slop consumer for the past 10+ years, lately i have noticed that bl reading my beloved routine pre-bedtime activity for so long has fallen off a bit. undoubtedly my somewhat recent descent into f1 yaoi (i know) is partially to blame, but combined with The Great M*ng*g* Listpocalypse of Jan 2026 i feel like it's just been harder for me to find the will to keep up with it, especially any series that i was only following out of habit anyway. having finally intermittently & manually added some of them back these past two months, i thought it would be appropriate to recap and review my current reading/read/want to read while the numbers are still fairly manageable. "recently" to me is defined as within the past six months.

CURRENTLY READING
time loop horror game simulation story with a seme who is sooo The Killer (not to be confused with the “real” killer in the horror story.. but he does still kill people!!) and obsessive about the uke and a uke who is like can we please focus on the task at hand stop trying to fuck me!! perfect dynamic. tbh when i first started this manhwa it felt like op was cosplaying having the mind of a mastermind a bit, like where is this all going…but then season 2 hit and i was like wait maybe op does have the mind of a mastermind #real not clickbait? #TrustTheProcess. even though the story is still mildly confusing and would probably be greatly enhanced with a reread or reference to fanmade gdoc of plot points and theories, dreadful night is pretty engaging; it has a fairly compelling mystery thriller plot and a good amount of cockenbahls. if i had to nitpick i would say the pacing and balance are a bit spotty though, for a while in the first season op was edging and blueballing us so bad and then when they finally were allowed to fuck, it was entire chapters of smut followed by barely any plot progression before we would go back to entire chapters of fucking again, and i would be like can op pls get back to plot PLEAA… which is a rare sentiment from me truly but i guess it goes to show how badly i want to see the story resolved lol
gorgeous art that i honestly think powerscales all of op's other works so bad though it still does have the typical egregious size difference that is signature of her seme-ukes. plot is fairly predictable but it’s enjoyable in a way that feels light and easy despite there literally being mafia business and non/dubious consent and kept wife(shaman) trope? the full page dream-like sequences from the historical era backstory really add to this bl's visual appeal.
guide/esper bl from the same artist who did angel buddy, consistent art as always. kind gentle seme who wants to take care of the headstrong uke that refuses to be taken care of…tale as old as time. uke has an ugly rapist ex that doesn’t know when to quit…when he finally gets his comeuppance i imagine it will be so gratifying but for now we must dither in the uke’s abandonment issues induced “i don’t deserve love” trauma spiral bc he thinks the seme is too good for him. pack it upppp like i swear to god if we don’t wrap this shit up in 15 more chapters…
i didn’t know there were side stories until recently! i remember enjoying the main series when i read it a couple years ago, seme is typical asshole with a heart of gold and uke is so amazingly autistic despite op repeatedly saying he’s not. but he is. lighthearted and comedic enough, iirc main story was r15 so you don’t really get explicit smut but the story carries on well without it anyway.
  • jinx - mingwa (95 chapters, ongoing)
in mingwa typical fashion we have boomerang brows asshole seme and pushover doormat chronic victim uke ft. thee most cliche noncon to love(?) plot progression ever. jinx is a one step forward two steps back kind of story which is so frustrating but nothing new given that wbk from bj alex lol. i will say i like dan’s character design better than the bj alex uke (i forgot his name lol) but that really is not saying much given that i don’t even like op’s art style that much. so it really begs the question what am i still doing here? well… sometimes you shop for things you like at the things you hate store to test ur abilities. or something. i am hate-reading in the name of ostensibly giving her another chance 🫶
also known by the title virtual strangers. sometimes i have to pause reading this for a few updates because the secondhand embarrassment i get from seme being a stupid idiot baby who has never socialized with normal people in his entire life is actually insane. i think this is dubbed as the orv bl in some parts of the internet due to faint visual similarities to manhwa depictions of yjh and kdj but that is literally where the veryyy tangential similarities end. i actually do like uke's personality a lot but seme pisses me off so bad like bro is ragebaiting the fuck out of me!! sorry it’s actually not that serious. but i need him to grow up like yesterday.

DROPPED / PAUSED
i keep meaning to come back to this but i get scared... not in the sense that anything overly violent or actually scary is going to happen but. i don't know. i'm scared. younger blonde seme that keeps his ex-guardian older uke captive… heeseo is literally top that doesn’t understand why the bottom won’t love him despite behaving extremely scarily and abnormally… the dynamic is actually so :slurp: emoji i really should get back into reading it.
a bl that is sooo mildly jmjn coded a bit especially visuals wise with that one tiktok; blond prettyface seme x short black haired uke (bhu) a classic combo. i forgot why i dropped this actually i may have just forgotten to pick it back up between seasons when it went on hiatus lol. another inadvertently slutty uke that is giving a touch of tism + mildly manipulative seme that cares soo much about carefully curating his image / hiding his true self + a setting that is quite meta (bl author universe)... i believe uke has long hair again in the newer seasons so we cheered (guy who hates short hair) 
another blond prettyface seme x short black haired uke except the blond seme is actually trashy s1ut asshole this time. who ofc has a soft spot for the uke and is only soo damaged and manipulative and trashy bc he has trauma and abusive family etc etc. dropped this one around ch. 60 or 70 idr i feel like the plot was just dragging but i did eat beautiful blond hair purple eyed seme visuals like seoin is seriously so gorgest to me... and uke is okay looking as far as short black haired ukes go. 
  • dash - ijen / skye (41 chapters, ongoing)
spoiled the plot for myself by reading a good amount of chapters from the bl novel, it seems like a pretty decent popcorn bl centered around athlete/manager + swimming + omegaverse, i'm just not super inclined to get back into it rn but i remember thinking the webnovel was a breezy easy read.
got baited by seme named jaemin… likely place for me to be. but this one is just… not very engaging. seme jaemin is very much creepy killer in this, which theoretically should be so up my alley, but i think everything is just falling slightly flat. uke has asshole ex that belittles him which i guess is supposed to make jaemin look so much better in comparison but i just kinda feel like this one is going nowhere.
another bl i put in timeout for cringing me out too much. art is fine, i just wish seme would stop acting like that. getting jealous of uke's SISTER like brother can we please get a couple of braincells up here. chase is really so beautiful blond (and also coincidentally purple-eyed) seme though, maybe i'll pick it back up again if i can turn off my brain enough to stop rolling my eyes. 
i’ve tried to read this like 3 or 4 times and i’ve just never gotten past chapter 100 absolutely no hate to meatbun tho. this also has all the tropes i should like on paper: crazy obsessive rich younger seme that is lowkey the killer, stoic doesn't-know-he's-beautiful uke, mild (for bl standards) age gap, some kind of background mystery, handwavey magical realism, etc… i think i just haven’t managed to find a good epub and lock in lol i’ll get to it some time.

RECENTLY FINISHEDjust binged this lured by the promise of time loop / groundhog day trope which is always so enticing to me and well—not to say this wasn’t good but idk... the reveal and resolution was a little underwhelming and bewildering at the same time. to its credit it is only 10 chapters and i really should not expect too much from bl logic at this point but i will keep hoping nonetheless. art is fine, cockenbahls are decent. quick read solid 6/10.
same artist as thread that never burned, it’s mafia prison bl so you know that consent is nonexistent but honestly a fairly enjoyable brain smoothening popcorn bl for the cockenbahls. op does get egregious with the proportions and art especially as the chapters progress but it is something that i can overlook and quite frankly expect from her at this point lmao.
not even sure i have the words to describe this one but. wow. i honestly respect that op is unabashedly a freak. genuinely looking forward to see what crazy shit is in store for s2.
i don’t know... started reading this upon nizrec like 1.5-2 years ago and stopped when the translator disappeared 60 chapters in. finally picked it back up randomly a couple months ago using another translation that i assume was edited mtl or just lower(?) quality but regardless it was a swift read and honestly not as good as i remember. typical wife-chasing story, i suppose the handful of cockenbahls chapters did hit.

TO-READ (mostly oomfrec) 
poppyrec! i heard this is a time loop one and i do love myself a good time loop so… hopefully i will add it to the rotation soon. it looks promising...
beautiful looking art i saw on twt… #1 bait taker in the world i’m looking. also in my sports yaoi era so 🧐
the 3-4 month period where ciel was begging half of us to read this 😂 um.. ill get to it.

honestly i cannot say i rec many of these like this is not a rec list, to be clear. just A list. of choices i have made. shopping at the slop store for slop. lowkey i do feel like my gen & hetslop manhwas have been mogging a bit but feel free to drop recs for me here or down below 🫶 maybe it will convince me that bl is so back...or maybe it never fell off?

sarcoline: (Default)
majorly dropped the ball this year wrt getting tickets for indian wells... i think we just forgot about the whole thing until end of january rolled around and one of us was like. Wait... did we get indian wells tickets this year yet? which is to say all of the normal face value priced stadium tickets were long sold out by then and we had to settle for grounds passes, (which are still not bad). the crowd gets worse and worse every year but such is the nature of the most accessible tennis tournament on tour in california, especially on that first weekend. i will say it was probably one of the least enjoyable iw experiences ive had so far due to the overwhelming hordes of people + preferring the previous day's lineup (alcaraz, rybakina, etc) but i still had a decent time.

2026 - champions: jannik sinner / aryna sabalenka
dillydallied a ton at the practice courts this year bc we didn't get stadium seats, but honestly i would say it was pretty worth it to see the big names quite close to us. apparently rybakina showed up in the fanzone but i didn't knowwwwwww. T_T my fishbird... i missed out on seeing her but i also didn't even know there was a schedule for fanzone that's my fault my bad.

practice courts: carlos alcaraz, aryna sabalenka, stefanos tsitsipas, novak djokovic, eva lys, priscilla hon
  • passed by prihon doing rallies and caught the tail end of eva lys' practice session she is sooo pretty. and then unintentionally got distracted by these shirtless doubles players showing off in the practice court behind her like idk it was giving male model? i have never seen aesthetically pleasing muscle. um anyway then i headed to pc1 for carlos ofc only to find the pc1 stands already packed. right next to it was pc2 wtih popyrin there and he is tall as fuck omg. stayed for carlos to dick around a bit and then finally lock in to practice passing shot returns with no bounce like he is actually insane?? litr so dogs so puppycaraz...
  • tsitsipas and djokovic came out after on pc1 and we thought they were going to practice doubles with hitting partners but that didn't end up happening? it seemed like djoko only wanted to hit with tsitsipas lol. which was fine it was interesting to see and novak's playstyle is just so incredibly distinct. felt good to see goat doing goat things.
  • sabalenka finished her execution match in the morning pretty swiftly and came out for a spin on pc2, messed with tsitsidjoko a bit and showed off her sparkly 10 carat engagement ring and generally was just having fun and playing.
  • the entire time carlos was practicing on court 1, vacherot and rinderknech were practicing doubles with hitting partners and it was actually so entertaining.. they beat meddytien in straights later in the day so clearly they were on their a-game.
SINGLES R3 / MEN'S DOUBLES R4
  • A. DAVIDOVICH-FOKINA (18) v. J. MENSIK (12) 6-2, 4-6, 6-2
watched this entire match from beginning to end and i'm ngl i was rooting for mensik despite the egregious signs of gamesmanship idkkk i cannot help rooting for evil attacka redbull athletes i think. foki had a ton of crowd support and mensik tall ass was relying a ton on his serve but it wasn't usual levels of reliable. it seemed like he was dealing with whatever virus was going around iw that weekend but also i think he definitely played up the fatigue. the umpire was crazy lenient that match and mensik fully took advantage of that. alas pure-of-heart foki prevailed against him in the end but it was honestly a very entertaining match throughout... lowkey i think men's tennis has more drama than women's lol.
  • A. ANISIMOVA (6) v. E. RADACANU (25) 6-1, 6-1
an absolute beatdown in every sense of the word. double breadsticked in front of god and everyone on court 2 oh emma... she got that million dollar uniqlo deal and was like deuces :peacesignemoji: i did only catch the tail end of it but that second set. yikes. amanda was also just playing extremely well, crazy first serve percentage, all the returns were textbook perfect. 2 vs 21 winners. emma really has no tools in her kit to counter iejsldf my girl washed asf damn
  • J. SINNER (2) v. D. SHAPOVOLOV 6-3, 6-2
had to watch the jannik sinner special x my favorite backhand on tour... unfortunately for dennis it was just clinical on sinner's side though shapo also did fumble saving so many break points. i suppose i should just be grateful he wasn't taken to the bakery that day. a couple of pretty aces for the aesthetic.
  • L. TIEN (25) v. B. SHELTON (8) 7(7-3)-6, 4-6, 6-3
unfortunately shelton was clearly affected by illness but big ups to him for pushing through until the end. i just remember continuously checking in on this game like "damn theyre still not done yet?" but ofc the first set being a tiebreak already set the tone for the match. was honestly doubting whether tien was going to be able to make it to his scheduled doubles with meddy a mere 2ish hours later, but i guess being a 20 year old with boundless energy is difference.
  • A. RINDERKNECH / V. VACHEROT (5) v. D. MEDVEDEV / L. TIEN 6-2, 6-3
could only really catch a tiny bit of this before leaving but it was really so fun to see meddytien synergy by which i mean they are so clearly not doubles players. vacherot and rinderknech won pretty handedly but i did enjoy the interax on court...
sarcoline: (Default)
i love scents and smells that's my fuckin problem... hi. i'm back. new scents i've tried and updates to the collection.
( new frags & decants )
penhaligon's - luna

top: primofiore lemon, bitter orange, bergamot / heart: rose, juniper berry, jasmine / base: fir balsam, musk, ambergris
classic fresh floral that i've had my eye on for ages and when i had the chance to snag it duty free at the airport, i took it ofc. quite citrusy but doesn't have that element of cleaning supply citrus. the fir balsam rounds it out and gives it a bit more body than your typical citrus floral scent. and ofc the packaging is sooo fucking cute. longevity is kind of whatever but at the very least everything else about it makes me very happy.
penhaligon's - querecus (lotion)
top: amalfi lemon, lime, bergamot, mandarin orange / heart: lily-of-the-valley, jasmine, cardamom / base: oakmoss, sandalwood, galbanum, musk, amber
my go-to body lotion post-shower, it is quite thin in consistency so definitely better suited for seasons that are not too dry but the citrus overload is so nice. i don't quite get the base notes in the body lotion, there's mainly just lemon-lime-orange paired with white florals.
afterblow - jasmine musc
top: pink pepper, jungle essence, rhubarb, blackcurrant, pear / heart: jasmine absolute, mugane, gardenia, rose / base: santamanol, oreanox, white musks, vetiver
white florals with fruit again? groundbreaking. also purchased while transiting via metro lmao, my fragrance acquisitions have been so spontaneous as of late...this one has a mild metallic(?) tinge sometimes but i honestly don't mind it. musky jasmine scents will always get me. afterblow has so many sugary florals but as a gourmand hater it really wasn't my vibe, despite the cuter packaging for their signature scents.
top: red fruits, raspberry, rose, violet, peach / heart: iris, rose geranium / base: white musk, cedar
veryyyy girly fruity floral. not super unique or remarkable but it's very good at what it does, which is being a safe inoffensive fragrance that says i am a girl who loves fruity florals. yummy and delicious fruits. beautiful florals.
top: rose, ice / heart: star jasmine / base: white amber
latest addition to my body spray collection, pure wonder is a icy clean skin scent and carries a bit of a fruity note despite not really having fruit in it. perhaps frozen pears. and of course jasmine is there. i keep this in my car to liberally douse myself in in case i've forgotten to apply perfume before leaving home lol.
liis - studied
top: pear, ambrette / heart: carrot, iris / base: ambroxan, cashmere
my favorite out of the liis scents, i think it's the combination of carrot and pear..? or rather the carrot is giving it a unique edge and the pear makes it fall into my fav category of skin scents. weak sillage as is typical of scents like these but it really is such a nice musk.
liis - floating
top: bergamot, peach / heart: wild orchid / base: crisp linen, sequoia wood
the epitome of clean girl scent. laundry-esque, which is /pos to me but may not be for everyone. very airy and light, but i do think this was the weakest of the liis scents. sequoia note was longest lasting out of everything but even then, it was not long. peach is quite faint but still detectable.
liis - lucienne
top: pomelo, lemon zest / heart: magnolia, water lily, dragonfruit / base: seashell, marine accord
subtle soapy aquatic floral, almost smells like rose despite not having rose notes. reminds me a bit of melrose place, and not quite as watery aldehyde as ocean di gioia. very pleasant as well, probably my second favorite out of the liis scents, but i think i generally do like the liis genre of perfume as a whole.
top: pink pepper / heart: peony, lychee, petalia / base: white cedar extract, musk, cedar
if you look at the notes you will notice... that pink pepper x fruity florals dna just calls out to me like the green goblin mask every time. on the bright side i think lust in paradise has impressive longevity compared to many of her derivatives. she is similar i think to chloe and delina but a bit more youthful, and i think better suited for spring and summer. the peony note is killer for me, i really do love a peony.
atelier des ors - pink me up
top: bergamot, orange blossom / heart: blackberry, rose, champagne / base: white musk, patchouli, iris
almost smells like sparkling wine, the champagne note is very very bright. it almost feels.. fizzy? like sprite. the olfactory manifestation of the color pink. patchouli in the base isn't strong at all, which is /pos to me as someone who doesn't love patchouli. obviously has beautiful packaging and full size has gold flecks in the bottle which is insane.
altaia - wonder of you
top: pink grapefruit, blackcurrant / heart: watermelon, freesia / base: ambroxan, musk
tried this at haechan's rec. very strong citrusy punch from the grapefruit and the drydown almost immediately skips to the ambroxan and musk; i don't really get the watermelon or freesia heart notes. terrible longevity, it really barely exists after like 45 minutes to an hour, save for faint synthetic ambroxan musk. almost reminds me of glossier you's drydown. the scent itself is vaguely reminiscent of d&g's light blue.
keiko mecheri - clair-obscur
heart: jasmine, petitgrain
the Essence of jasmine. which i love. i don't think it's going to be for everyone, but if you are jasminefucker69 like i am. then yes. there's almost like a savoury quality to it but not really? just an extremely photorealistic jasmine. pov you are in a field of fresh jasmine flowers <3
sora dora - jany
top: roasted apple, peach, apricot / heart: puff pastry, cinnamon, osmanthus, plum / base: caramel, vanilla, almond, white musk, walnut
extremely uncharacteristic of a scent for me to try but oomtiktokinfluencer is always raving about it so i had to see what the hype was about. i do not love smelling like baked goods but if you do you will love this perfume. the almond + baked apple + puff pastry are at the forefront of this scent, and surprisingly enough i don't find the vanilla to be too cloying. drydown is mostly cinnamon. definitely not my kind of fragrance but it is one of the more tolerable gourmand sugary sweet scents imo.
top: milk, ambrette seed, mystikal / heart: mahonial, tuberose, jasmine, frankincense / base: tonka bean, vanilla, cocoa
baby's first lactonic scent...musky and powdery, a bit reminiscent of diptyque l'eau papier. i don't love it but it's not bad. i think the frankincense might be the off note for me, but it is a pleasant jasmine vanilla otherwise, with a faintly milky backdrop. the cocoa also makes it slightly more dessert-esque that i personally like but i imagine this would be very fitting for people who love a slightly lactonic gourmand. quite strong as well.
( samples & shopping cart )
notes: bergamot, ozone / jasmine, lily of the valley, orange blossom water / amber, musk, sandalwood
the elorea scent i liked most by far when visiting their rooftop studio. which was undeniably aesthetic and primed for picture-taking, complete with a cafe that served drinks correlating to each of their signature scents. drinks were mid tho lol. i think i found a few other nice smelling scents (inflorescence, heaven, git), but hazy blue was the undisputable goat. white floral aldehydes my beloved. in my shopping cart currently...

> penhaligon's - liquid love

notes: pink pepper, ginger, turmeric / rose ultimate extract, green hazelnut, chili / cashmeran, musk, sandalwood
on the slightly spicy end of frags with the opening ginger note but surprisingly not too off-putting for me. but it really is the most spicy gourmand a scent can be before i start getting scared. very feminine rose scent, pleasant drydown.

> parfums de marly - delina la rosée
notes: lychee, pear, bergamot / aquatic flowers, turkish rose, peony / white musk, vetiver, woody notes
my favorite out of the delinas, i think the lychee and pear really do it for me. lust in paradise's cousin. maybe long lost sister even. unobtrusive fruity floral that actually has decent longevity.

> parfums de marly - delina exclusif
notes: lychee, pear, bergamot, pink pepper, grapefruit / turkish rose, oud, incense / vanilla, amber, woody notes, musk, vetiver, evernyl
doing toooo much. so cloying. i know this is supposed to be delina on steroids but ummm well. i did not care for it. almost has a crayon wax-ish opening note, and then the drydown is way too spicy woody with the oud + incense notes.
somehow still haven't managed to get my hands on or try out the viral asian perfume houses like tosummer or d'annam. i really really want to try the tea fragrances from tosummer! and i was supposed to go to niche perfume store with ash but alas literally everything in the world was working against us trying to keep us apart :') those shall wait for another day... at least we did get our mandatory scents and smells microdosing in at big department store, which reminds me i have a few youssoful (dimanche à paris, staré město) and atelier cologne scents (pacific lime, orange sanguine) i also might want to purchase next :)
sarcoline: (Default)
you know the drill. sharing some new products i’ve introduced into my routine. and i've finally tried some of the products from my last update! personal fav/holy grail products in red :)

skincare

☀️ A.M.
  • CLEANSER: water - this still has not changed x2
  • SERUM: celimax noni ampoule - finally tried this! i think it does work and feels nice
  • MOISTURIZER: trader joe's ultra-hydrating gel moisturizer - lightweight gel moisturizer, bought to replace the naturie hatomugi skin conditioning gel and these are basically the same thing.
  • SPF: beauty of joseon relief sun aqua fresh - my next sunscreen was always going to be between this one and the skin1004 hyalu-cica whatever one... this one isn't bad; no pilling + decent texture + no white cast but oomirl let me try her skin1004 and the serum-y texture + glow it leavessss omg lowkey i regret not getting it
 
 🌙 P.M.
  • OIL CLEANSER: kose softymo speedy - still using her. tried and true. forever!!
  • CLEANSER: dieux baptism gel cleanser - smells faintly like coconut despite being unscented, i like it so far! def on the pricey side though but fsr i can't seem to stay away from luxe gel cleansers 😭 for travel i like to bring the suisai beauty clear powder facial wash bc they come in little capsules.
  • TONER: avene spring thermal water spray - this is just water <3
  • TONER: mediheal madecassoside blemish pad - same old
  • AMPOULE: vt reedle shot 100 - i use this a few times a week but should probably graduate to the 300 soon i think my skin is getting used to the 100.
  • AMPOULE: skin 1004 madagascar centella ampoule - same old
  • SERUM: celimax noni ampoule - at night i alternate between this and the pdrn though because i feel like it gets too goopy otherwise.
  • SERUM: vt pdrn serum - same old
  • RETINOL: prescription tret 0.025 - applied as needed
  • MOISTURIZER: aestura atobarrier 365 cream - winter moisturizer i use on drier days
  • MOISTURIZER: trader joe's ultra-hydrating gel moisturizer - used on lighter days
  • EYE CREAM: strivectin intensive eye concentrate, trader joe’s super hydrating eye cream, and clinique all about eyes eye cream - every time i just pick one at random im ngl.
makeup
again as a caveat, i absolutely do not do all these steps all the time i'm lazy asf yadda yadda this is just an optimistic summary of what i do. almost 90% of these are new products so i will not be highlighting those lol.
  • FOUNDATION: maybelline super stay lumi-matte foundation in 120 / 30N - supporting my girl ningning!! but also genuinely this is such a nice foundation. got tired of my old clio mesh pilling.
    • i do have a milktouch all-day skin fit milky glow cushion (21N) in reserve though, thank you japanese twt girlies for successfully influencing me. i do find it slightly on the drier side from the 1-2 times i've used but i think it's probably more suited for summer.
  • CONCEALER: sweetmint three-color concealer - $2 taobao dupe for the saem color correcting concealer palette, the real thing is probably even more impressive but this already does sooo much to cover my chronic dark circles.
  • BROWS: merzy the first proof brow mascara (cocoa) - tried and true and probably on her last legs but i don't think anything i've bought to replace her have measured up im ngl.
    • the kissme heavy rotation colouring eyebrow (ash brown) is way too thick. i tend to like the thinner wands of the korean browscaras more, so the peripera speedy skinny brown mascara (peony ash) i got should've worked except i was a stupid idiot that bought it when i was a redhead not knowing a week later i would decide to go brunette 😭 so now i have it in the wrong shade. lol. judydoll brow pencil to clean things up before and after.
  • CONTOUR: judydoll 2 in 1 highlighter contour palette #1 waves & minshizee liquid contour
  • EYESHADOW: romand better than mahogany garden tried and true + etude house play color eyes crystal chandeliers for sparkle. abh soft glam for western/abg glam.
  • EYELINER: kissme heroine make prime liquid eyeliner rich keep (brown black) - holy grail of eyeliners To Me, this shit does not budge and has an amazingly sharp tip. msh loveliner your OVER. jk msh loveline is still good but at the price point heroine make rich keep does outperform. and tightlining as always is my trusty canmake creamy touch liner in 03 dark brown
  • AEGYOSAL: flortte wow so light liquid liner in #04, with etude house bling bling eye stick (lol)
  • MASCARA: etude house dr. mascara fixer + clio lash kill long curling - clio lash kill is a new acquisition for me! very worth lol sometimes i don't even need the etude house mascara primer, but i'm just very used to having her in my routine, so. also the judydoll 3d lash curling iron mascara on my lower lashes :)
  • BLUSH: forever key mousse cloud veil cheek blusher (#02 & #10) - shade 02 is more peach/skin toned whereas 10 is more cool-toned and baby-pink. i want to get into all the trendy blushes so bad but my usage rate does not warrant that!! (same goes for my lippie usage and yet—)
  • HIGHLIGHT: judydoll starlight highlighting powder in 05
  • SETTING: akf oil control loose setting powder (01 matte) - another xhs rec it is soooo pore blurring. so natural's all day tight setting fixer mist is my go to fixing spray. that shit works.
    • i've also used pramy moisturizing makeup setting spray in matte finish, which works quite well too. personally i just am partial to aerosol sprays over traditional sprays.
  • LIPS: lining still with aoa fly with me lip crayon in thunder. and then i'll top it off with my judydoll dual flash watery lip gloss in 04 extra tea (i realllyyyy like this shade)
    • i have also finally gotten my hands on the laneige glaze craze tinted lip serum in cinnamon sugar and it is the perfect cool toned dusty pink. feels super nice on the lips too, the only downside is that the formula is not the most moisturizing or long lasting. but it is very shiny and smells like cinnamon and has beautiful color....
haircare
i wash my hair every other day or every two days depending on my level of activity etc. i always blow dry with a round brush after, and use heat semi-regularly (bi-weekly?)
  • PRE-WASH: the inkey list salicylic acid exfoliating scalp treatment or the ordinary glycolic acid 7% exfoliating toner - these are basically the same thing to me, i do like the ordinary one slightly more though
  • SHAMPOO: pantene essential botanicals moroccan rose & manuka honey shampoo - giant costco shampoo that smells so nice. i double wash every time i wash my hair so i go through shampoo quite quickly and need something that doesn't break the bank.
  • CONDITIONER: pantene essential botanicals white tea and cucumber conditioner - smells so good pt. 2. i actually like this scent better than the rose and honey one, but like i said i go through shampoos at a faster rate than my conditioner so i had to replace that first.
  • MASKS: tsubaki premium repair mask and unove deep damage treatment ex - i alternate between these, the keratin in the unove one gets a bit much if i use it too often or leave it in for too long.
  • OTHER:
    • unove heating guard no-wash treatment - i don't use this super often bc i find that it can get kinda heavy (overloading on the keratin i assume) especially if i've already used the unove deep damage treatment in the shower beforehand
    • kao liese moist juicy shower (hair mist) - smells like berries. soo good. smooths my hair out so it's not frizzy after blow-drying.
    • mise en scene perfect serum - tbh i cannae tell if this is doing anything more effectively than my past hair oils but it does smell so good thank you aespayola...
    • spes washing-free hair spray (sweet grapefruit & earl grey) - the only dry shampoo everrrrr, outsold batiste/not your mothers/etc etc and the scents are both amazing, but i think i am partial to the sweet grapefruit. super volumizing and effective i am on my third bottle lol
    • eva nyc hydrating scalp serum - emergency scalp serum for when my scalp used to get dry after too much clarifying shampoo. now that i don't use one anymore i also find myself reaching for this less
  • TOOLS:
    • velcro hair grippers - $1 off taobao perfect tool for keeping my curtain bangs out of my face without leaving marks in my hair! kinda magical product idk.
    • conair double ceramic 1 1/4 in curling iron - bought this for like $15 when i was 16. still works. perfect for fauxouts or beachy waves or literally everything i've ever needed
    • kinujo hair dryer (white) - got this in japan a couple years ago admittedly mostly for the aesthetic but also for an overdue upgrade from my old conair and it does significantly cut down on drying time and make my hair look better so i would say it was a worthwhile investment
    • ceramic round brush
products to try
  • prequel gleanser cleanser
    • yes i tried dieux batism gel cleanser, which is good, but maybe drugstore option is in the cards next...?
  • a’pieu raspberry hair vinegar and aromatica rosemary root enhancer, kevin murphy scalp.spa serum and perhaps the cecred clarifying shampoo scalp scrub
    • still have not tried any of these from my last post lol
  • refa heart comb aira
    • might be a gimmick but the packaging is so pretty and idk. yes i do have a million combs and brushes but maybe stainless steel chrome hair comb will make a difference...
  • like every single viral kbeauty blush lol soliciting recs!
sarcoline: (Default)
to be honest not too much has changed from my last update… but start of the new year quarter just feels like an appropriate time to drop some new products i’ve introduced into my routine.

current routine )
sarcoline: (Default)
to be honest i don’t even consider myself a #real #hardcore tennis fan. genuinely. like im so casual. but i thought it would be nice to organize my thoughts and keep record kinda? as i’ve had the chance to attend the indian wells masters for the past 5-ish years. i tend to go on the first weekend of the tournament, either saturday or sunday, which usually falls on singles round 3 (round of 32) or sometimes round 2 (round of 64), depending on what day of the week the tournament starts that year. i’ll add pictures later if i remember lol.

tldr; the first of two events in the “sunshine double” (the other being the miami open), the bnp paribas open at indian wells is an ATP tour masters 1000 and WTA 1000 event, earning players 1000 ranking points if won (the 3rd most after majors - 2000 points, and year end ATP/WTA finals - 1500 points). lowkey i think this is more tennistv pr than anything but apparently it’s often considered the 5th slam or the “grand slam of the west” as it is the most attended tennis tournament in the world outside of the four majors.

2025 - champions: jack draper / mirra andreeva
SINGLES R3 / DOUBLES R4
lowkey feel like i should’ve gotten tickets for day 8 instead of day 9 because i preferred the lineup (alcaraz, dimitrov, shapovalov, sabalenka) more but this was still a good day of matches! going on weekends has always been more crowded but i don’t think i’ve ever experienced this many people here before…i guess the event does get bigger and bigger each year. 

practice courts: carlos alcaraz, madison keys, qinwen zheng
  • S. TSITSIPAS (8) v. M. BERRETTINI 6-3, 6-3
so nice to see tsitsipas back on top lately (perhaps riding the high of that dubai win), he had really nice serves and his backhand is getting better. i think this match was pretty entertaining despite what the score may suggest. funniest part of the entire game was when berrettini called for var because he wanted to check if tsitsipas crossed the net while returning a shot in the middle of the court and tsitsipas looked so comically offended that he would even think so wdfjslf.
  • D. MEDVEDEV (5) v. A. MICHELSEN (31) 0-2 (walkover)
apparently michelsen has been battling stomach flu (?) for the entire week so they barely played for like 10 minutes before medvedev called for a medic due to nosebleed… and then less than five minutes later michelsen decided to retire. 
  • H. RUNE (12) v. U. HUMBERT (18) 5-7, 6-4, 7-5
both rune and humbert appeared pretty evenly matched for the duration of the event that we watched, i think rune did a decent job of sticking it through despite the first set. his backhand is really nice.
  • J. PEGULA (4) v. X. WANG 6-2, 6-1
jess really made quick work of wang xinyu we blinked and the match was over. 
  • J. CASH / L. GLASSPOOL (5) v. L. DARDERI / G. DIMITROV 6-3, 6-4
lol’d you could really tell darderi and dimitrov were singles players playing doubles as opposed to their opponents (british doubles specialists). my first time watching a doubles match live in a few years so it felt pretty refreshing to see the change of pace—very quick and almost felt like watching table tennis lmao. ofc dimi had to pull out a behind the back return at the net on the first point of the game.. classic. 
  • S. HSIEH / S. ZHANG (5) v.  M. JONES / M. KESSLER 6-2, 6-3
first time seeing the magician hsieh su wei live and it was exhilarating!! she’s definitely stronger up at the net as opposed to the baseline (weaker serves) but her returns and reflexes are genuinely so incredible to witness up-close. they pretty much dominated kessler and jones for the entirety of the first set and half of the second, but i think kessler/jones started to make a bit of a comeback at 4-0 which wasn’t bad for a wildcard team. kessler was the better player by far, i think some of jones’ shot selections were a bit confusing while kessler played consistently with solid returns. 

SINGLES R4 - ROUND OF 16
i had suite tickets for this day so basically ended up staying on court 1 the whole entire day though i did consider taking a look at court 2 when sabalenka was playing. the women’s matches all went to three sets and took over 2 hours while the men’s matches finished in straight sets and under two hours. so it was bad for those who only bought night session tickets, but good for people who had been there all day and wanted to go home a little earlier (me).
  • BELINDA BENCIC v. C. GAUFF (3) 3-6, 6-3, 6-4
the disappointment when gauff fumbled the third set was palpable across the stadium, broken from 40-0 at 4-4 was devastating… i think her serves were pretty inconsistent in the last two sets though, despite her fairly decisive first set victory. gauff wasn’t making crazy amounts of unforced errors (only 5 more than the number of winners she hit) but bencic just kept fighting. 
  • M. KEYS (5) v. D. VEKIĆ (19) 4-6, 6-7(9), 6-3
DONNA… i was rooting for you… the turning point of this match was really during the second set tiebreak where vekić was up 5-3 and keys miraculously managed to overcome the deficit, resulting in a frustrated vekić who flung the racket at the court. up until that point i think everyone thought that vekić’s victory was imminent. she was playing quite well with a few entertaining trick shots and disguised drop shots that maybe made up for her slightly shaky serves.  
  • J. DRAPER (13) v. T. FRITZ (3) 7-5, 6-4
ngl a bit of an underwhelming match, fritz was definitely not on his a-game. he wasn’t fucking up too badly either but draper’s serves were monstrous and consistent and he was returning well too. another top 10 seed out of the tournament before quarters is crazy but what can you do…
  • C. ALCARAZ (2) v. G. DIMITROV (14) 6-1, 6-1
ok ok the score looks worse than it actually was. i mean it was a pretty undeniable win but it’s not like dimitrov was playing badly… alcaraz was just Too good. what would usually be winners for dimitrov, alcaraz would manage to save and not only save but return winners. not much you can do in conditions like that. also it got increasingly windy as the day went on, so by the time it was evening the wind was affecting play pretty conspicuously (worse for dimitrov, as alcaraz’s balls typically have more spin and are thus less affected).  
 
2024 - champions: carlos alcaraz / iga swiateksomehow missed it this year…?
2023 - champions: carlos alcaraz / elena rybakina
SINGLES - ROUND OF 32
- strangely enough i only have a single photo from this day and it was of rublev LOL. if it were not for that singular photo / my annual iw twitter thread i might have not even believed i went this year. 
  • C. NORRIE (10) v. T. DANIEL 6-7, 7-5, 6-2
looked like daniel actually had a shot up until the middle of the second.
  • C. GARIN v. C. RUUD (3) 6-4, 7-6
top 5 upset again. i honestly hardly remember anything from this match i feel like neither of their playstyles were very captivating. 
  • A. DAVIDOVICH (23) v. K. KHACHANOV (13) 6-3, 1-6, 6-4
after witnessing his loss to shapo last year i went into this not expecting him to win but he steadfastly clung on in the third set despite losing the second 6-1. 
  • A. RUBLEV (6) v. U. HUMBERT 7-5, 6-3
got to hear the infamous rublev BWEHs in person… was definitely an experience. rublev’s playstyle is kind of like the equivalent of bruteforcing code. like it’s just not an elegant process but it gets the job done. 
  • M. SAKKARI (7) v. A. KALININA 3-6, 6-2, 6-4
wanted to catch the second half of this match so bad but i think sakkari just locked the fuck in in the 2nd and 3rd sets and by the time we came out of court 1, i could only watch from the big screen as she put it away dominating kalinina 6-4 in the third.
  • A. ZVEREV (12) v. E. RUUSUVUORI 7-5, 1-6, 7-5
surprisingly did not go to tiebreak every single set… which is usually what happens whenever zverev wins anything at high profile tournaments. 
 
2022 - champions: taylor fritz / iga swiatek
SINGLES - ROUND OF 64
 practice courts: nick kyrgios (saw his influencer gf too lol)
  • R. NADAL (4) v. S. KORDA 6-2, 1-6, 7-6
first time watching nadal live and this was truly such an incredible experience. i’m so glad i got to see him play before he returned last year :’) seeing him do his little superstitious rituals was so entertaining beautiful tennis playing notwithstanding. it seemed like korda had a chance to turn things around in the second set being up two breaks.
  • V. KUDERMETOVA (21) v. N. OSAKA 6-0, 6-4
vaguely recall being shocked by how quickly the first set ended… where did grand slam champion naomi go </3
  • D. SHAPOVALOV (13) v. A. DAVIDOVICH 4-6, 6-4, 6-2
finally got to witness a shapo win after last year’s loss. beautiful flying one-handed backhand as always, davidovich-fokina really did scare me with that first set though. i almost thought we were gonna have a repeat of last year 😭
  • J. SINNER (10) v. L. DJERE 6-3, 6-3
got to see sinner before he blew all the way up… not that he was nugu or anything at this point but his popularity definitely skyrocketed after mid-2023. my most lasting impression of him was just how lanky he was… giving medvedev a bit with all his gangly limbs.
  • L. FERNANDEZ (18) v. A. ANISIMOVA 2-6, 7-6 (walkover)
caught the end of this match because we were waiting for kyrgios on court 2… it seemed like anisimova was on track to win the second but after losing four match points despite her 2 break lead, it looked like she became sick before the third set and then rapidly retired amidst the umpire’s protests. 
  • N. KYRGIOS v. F. DELBONIS (32) 6-2, 6-2
stayed later than usual just to catch this one. kyrgios won pretty handily but it was still pretty entertaining iirc he had some banter with the crowd. when he’s on he’s on. lobbed a few underhand serves for jokes iirc.

2021 - champions: cameron norrie / paula badosa
SINGLES - ROUND OF 32
  • D. SCHWARTZMAN (11) v.  D. EVANS (18) 5-7, 6-4, 6-0
short king!! retired earlier last year but truly was a treat to watch how he commanded the court despite his stature. 
  • G. DIMITROV (23) v. R. OPELKA (16) 6-3, 6-4
the first thing i noticed about opelka was how tall he was… he really looked so giant on that court. like he is 211cm and you can tell. especially watching this match right after schwartzman lmao.
  • P. BADOSA (21) v. C. GAUFF (15) 6-2, 6-2
eventual winner of the year! honestly don’t recall much of this match, but badosa is very gorgeous…
  • A. KERBER (10) v. D. KASATKINA (20) 6-2, 1-6, 6-4
iirc i only caught a bit of the last set of this one.
  • A. KARATSEV (19) v. D. SHAPOVALOV (9) 7-5, 6-2
will never forget how i watched this match courtside and witnessed shapo serve 12 aces vs karatsev’s 0 and still lost.. :weibocrylaugh: shapo really has one of the most beautiful backhands of all time and a very elegant playstyle but it is sooo fawking inconsistent. when he kept getting broken in the second set i was like brotherrr its over. 
  • H. HURKACZ (8) v. F. TIAFOE 6-3, 6-2
honestly do not remember much of this one, just that hurkacz was pretty tall and that tiafoe was cheeked UP. yes i know you all follow me for my insightful and riveting tennis commentary.


 

will update with 2026 as well :)

sarcoline: (jemmin1)
with 5k words of njm chaebol theory in indefinite stasis i figured i would at least put some of my largely useless horological knowledge to work and finally make a compilation of one of the most visible displays of na jaemin's material wealth: his collection of insanely expensive timepieces. i do have to disclaim that i am not a watch expert/salesperson/etc i have not been professionally trained at all, watches are just a hobby for me so if there are any mistakes please be understanding (and feel free to send me a message if anything needs to be corrected) <3
  • all prices are in USD
  • msrp = manufacturer suggested retail price, which is the sticker price from any authorized dealer
  • market price = average pre-owned price estimate, an average of what it goes for on the current resale market
  • all prices accurate as of oct 1st 2024.
  • listed in order revealed
  • watch terminology glossary here
don't say damn )
sarcoline: (Default)
ummm well what can i say i bought a shitton of products this past summer and have changed up quite a few things in my routine so.. this is the long overdue terribly organized frankenpost update. i kind of did a half baked recap a few months ago upon anon request here: 1 / 2 

related links: holy grails / hair & fragrance / interest list

this is a long one )
sarcoline: (default)
you may be wondering... why is it scents and smells 2.0 and not 1.0? where is the first one? surely by definition 2.0 implies the existence of 1.0? and the answer is.. uhhhhh i just haven't finished the first post (which is about my candle collection) (that i started writing in 2021) (yeah). but ignoring chronology and doing what i want is my passion so uhhh here is my fragrance collection review scents and smells frankenpost. disclaimer that i am not a perfume expert by any means i just have impractical hobby and extreme hyperfixation. and did i mention i love scents and smells.
 
my collection*(roughly in order acquired)
1. chanel - chance eau tendré
top: quince, grapefruit / heart: hyacinth, jasmine / base: musk, iris, virginia cedar, amber
a classic fruity floral, sometimes this pulls a little too sweet but generally a safe choice imo. it's really versatile and i like this one the most out of the famous chanel fragrances, i think no. 5 and coco mademoiselle both skew more powdery and cloying... old lady scents etc etc. i prefer the edt over the edp even though the difference is quite miniscule, i just think the edt is slightly fruitier while the edp is sharper in terms of the florals, but both drydown to a floral musk. overall just a very uncomplicated fruity floral for summer or spring. this doesn't last the longest, but i still get decent wear out of it.
2. ouai - melrose place
top: champagne, lychee, berry, pink pepper / heart: rose, peony, freesia, bergamot, jasmine / base: white musk, sandalwood, cedar, amber
ouai successfully suckered me in with the beautiful fruity floral fragrances in their products... first the heat protectant spray (rue st. honore), and then their dry shampoo (melrose place). i honestly can't speak to the efficacy of the dry shampoo i feel like i have yet to find any dry shampoo that truly works for me but this smells sooo nice and does an okay job. i will truly forgive anything as long as it smells nice and is not actively making my skin/hair/etc worse... i love the freesia rose peony trifecta in addition to jasmine my beloved, it's a very airy floral blend that i would also consider a safe choice. longevity again isn't amazing, but it's a good fresh out the shower scent. used to be my go-to.
top: pear accord, bergamot, black currant / heart: lily of the valley, jasmine, rose damascena / base: musk, vanilla, ambrox
the largest sized fragrance in my collection to date--it was gifted to me and i was obsessed with it at one point but ummm now i have 100ml and no idea what to do with all of it i literally use it as room spray at this point...i think i liked it at the time for the white florals and brightness, it's an extremely fresh scent. but overtime it's gotten a little too sharp and powdery for me, the drydown skews more cleaning product-y than i initially remember... :'( always a sad day when you fall out of love with ur perfumes. and are stuck with 100ml of it. maybe i'll fall in love with it again someday... who could say.
top: ambrette, nesberry / heart: magnolia, sandalwood, violet / base: cedar wood, musks, vetiver
it girl scent, one of my first niche fragrances... she is That Girl! i honestly don't remember if i got this before ningning revealed she wore it or after.. maybe it was at the same time perhaps i subconsciously gravitated towards it despite not having smelled it in person before acquiring it.. i just knew it was going to be good. and it was! can't really even begin to describe how it smells but this is very amber + violet heavy, which is really really nice... the little peek of magnolia makes it the perfect balance of woody and floral To Me... like it's just so distinctive and a really effortlessly cool girl fragrance to me.
5. juliette has a gun - pear inc
top: pear accord / heart: cetalox / bottom: musk
so fucking sad i lost this omg.. the very fragrance that put me on to pear scents i miss her dearly. i do think jhag is kind of fucked up for making their travel sizes 7ml instead of the normal 10ml for the same price as other travel sized scents like way to be stingy as fuck...but this is one of my favorite perfumes from them nonetheless. extremely simple, but that's the charm of it imo. i think it's pretty suitable for any season due to the drydown being primarily musk--i honestly would love to repurchase this in the near future.
top: sparkling pear, citruses, green notes / heart: water jasmine, salt, lily of the valley, rose / base: musk, sandalwood
immediately after discovering my newfound love for pear my beloved chloe put me on to ocean di gioia, which is acqua di gioia's lesser known cousin. it's marketed as an aquatic scent, which it is, but i find that the fruity florals come through pretty strongly. undeniably a summer scent, the sparkling pear and citruses make the opening sooo pleasant to me. the longetivity on this isn't bad tbh, if sprayed on my clothes i can smell it for days.
7. maison francis kurkdjian - amyris femme
top: lemon blossom, pear, sweet pea / heart: amyris, iris / base: vetiver, musk, amber
bought this as a little milestone gift to myself... this is another scent that i fell in love with at the counter but don't reach for as much because it's pretty strong and leans more mature. the opening notes are quite citrusy, though not as citrusy as mfk's 724 which literally smells like sprite to me, and the drydown is balmy, mostly from the vetiver. i think amryis femme is best suited for winter/spring as the blend of iris and amyris with the woody notes can get a bit much if you're very active. this is probably my most woody floral to date, i tend to stay away from fragrances that lean too woody but mfk's blend makes it work.
notes: musk, gaiac wood, cedar, olibanum
gaiac 10 is a tokyo exclusive from le labo and it's one of those fragrances that seems to be quite polarizing. to me it's a very clean wood scent, subtle and skin-scent adjacent if not for the indolic hit of cedar-gaiac. some people get a meaty bbq smell but i personally haven't had that experience; i could see the savouriness of the gaiac leaning into that scent for others though. it does turn a little soapy for me but not in a bad way... it's just a very interesting scent overall, almost incense-like due to the olibanum but not in an overly spiced way. the projection is pretty terrible but the longevity is decent, i like the simple musk drydown. if i loved it more i'd probably be more upset about the price tag not agreeing with my budgeting sensibilities lol.
top: mate, tumeric, salt, cardamom / heart: narcissus, magnolia / base: vanilla, orris, co2 extracts
honestly wasn't sure where to stick this as i first got a travel size ages ago and then recently acquired the full size last month… one of the scents of all time, thé vanille is The vanilla perfume for guys who hate (stereotypical ubersweet gourmand) vanilla perfume. it's a green, clean smelling vanilla that leans a bit mineral. the earthy notes from the orris and cardamom complement the clean green tea so nicely, and the drydown is a mellow spiced vanilla. i know i've made it exceedingly clear how much i hate spicy notes but thé vanille almost feels like a skin scent with how inoffensive it is. just a very perfectly balanced and complex scent overall with decent longevity as well, i reach for this one a lot.
top: clementine, mandarin orange, juniper berry / heart: basil, star anise, pepper / base: cypress, haitian vetiver, sandalwood
MY IDEAL CITRUS/ORANGE/MANDARIN PERFUME she is the wave she is the moment. i decidedly do not like most spicy/woody notes but the star anise is really lowkey and works so beautiful with the rest of the scent layers... literally my number one summer scent of all time she is so perfect to me. it's not an overly realistic "plant"-y orange scent that smells too green, nor does it veer into smelling like cleaning product (which i don't automatically hate, but not what i usually look for in perfume). the drydown is strong on the vetiver, but not in a cloying overbearing way... decent longevity as well, i love smelling this on myself hours after initial application.
top: rhubarb, lychee, bergamot, nutmeg / heart: turkish rose, peony, vanilla / base: incense, cashmeran, musk, vetiver
i got this first not knowing about the existence of delina la rosee, which i later smelled and immediately was besotted by... but regular delina is good too. it's quite strong, definitely a winter scent for me and not something i would go heavy on the application. i definitely prefer la roseé's more watery, aquatic lean; it's like delina's younger sister. it just skews more fresh and wearable for me, while delina itself is a more mature rose scent with a creamy musk drydown. the incense note is probably what's making it not as good as la roseé in my personal ranking, but it's still a solid feminine rose-forward pretty girl scent.
top: pear, citruses, apple / heart: ambrette, amyl salicylate, moss, jasmine / base: iso e super, cetalox, ambrettolide, helvetolide
theeee skin scent of skin scents TO ME. another 13 has that je ne sais quoi. literally the ideal pear tinged skin scent, complex in a way that's hard to describe in words. one of those extremely polarizing scents, i know quite a few people who are anosmic to it and to them i can only say i am so sorry u cannot be smelling what i am smelling. it's in the same family of "true" skin scents as juliette has a gun not a perfume and escentric molecules 01 due to the prominent cetalox and iso e super. i'm obsessed with smelling this on my clothes and myself after a whole day of wearing it... the longevity is quite nice and the subtle amber musky drydown is a dream.
 
other fave decants/samples:

> diptyque - do son

notes: iris, rose, african orange flower / tuberose, pink pepper / musk, benzoin
WHITE FLORALS MY BELOVED. honestly do son isn't a very complex or interesting fragrance but i don't need it to be. it just needs to smell good--clean and fresh--which it does very well. a delicate classic tuberose heavy scent, i know it's basic but idc i love it...

> glossier - you
notes: iris, pink pepper, ambroxan, ambrette
skin scents and pink pepper are you seeing a trend now. also kind of a polarizing scent in that some people either are anosmic to it or feel like it smells like newspaper... tbh i do get a bit of the newspaper but i literally don't mind it i think it's a feature not a bug. and the drydown is nice.

> valentino - donna born in roma
notes: black currant, pink pepper, bergamot / jasmine, jasmine sambac, jasmine tea / bourbon vanilla, cashmeran, guaiac wood
3/3 on pink pepper... also a conspicuous amount of jasmine notes in this one it's no wonder i love it... if there is jasmine i will be there no matter what.

> floral street - wonderland peony
notes: guavas. red berries, sicilian lemon / raspberry bloom, peony, violet / cotton candy, vanilla, resins, woody notes, cedar, vetiver
i'm going to be honest i'm not getting all that, especially not the base notes cocktail, but wonderland peony is still a lovely fruity floral nonetheless. super inoffensive and girly. love her.

> maison kurkdijan francis - gentle fluidity gold
notes: vanilla, amber, musk, woodsy notes, juniper berries, nutmeg, coriander
somewhat uncharacteristic of a scent for me to like considering the nutmeg and coriander, but gentle fluidity is really mellow and warm, the vanilla is sweet but not cloying. 

there are probably more i'm forgetting bc i have so many samples but i've already put off finish this post for too long so... um... i'll update or something if i remember
 

my conspicuous inclination towards fruity florals notwithstanding, i do want to branch out and acquire a few niche designer decants outside of that scent profile soon... i've been looking at gourmands like bianco latte and indult tihota, lactonic scents like blanche bete, skin scents from liis, the famous nishane wu long cha, etc. the list goes on. perhaps it's time to check out of my perfume samples cart :') but i also have to save for nct dream tickets aughhhhh 🥹 the grief is neverending....

+ previous perfume related discussion:
  • fav scents: 1 / 2 
  • clean laundry-adjacent scent recs for anon: 12 
  • my collection: 1 / 2
sarcoline: (ryujin 2)
i know i've said before that i'm not one of god's music listeners but as it turns out i have been really enjoying listening to sounds lately. subsequently i've decided that mid q3 is the perfect time to do a 2023 gg releases round up review.. not really in any order i kind of just jump all over the place my bad....

AESPA - MY WORLD
personal ranking: welcome to my world > spicy = salty & sweet > thirsty = i'm unhappy > 'til we meet again
i like wtmw so much, like way more than i expected to but maybe that's because i didn't have any expectations to begin with. something about it sounds so dreamy majestic and almost cinematic. a bit jurassic world soundtrack-esque, also kind of like when a new planet debuts in star wars or something...coruscant intro theme song type beat. um spicy was good. To Me. i know everyone and their dog has been comparing it to itzy but it is actually fairly reminiscent of f(x)'s sound pre-4walls imo. like i can definitely see a bit of hot summer's dna in this song. it does get slightly repetitive, maybe they could've left a post-chorus out but honestly i don't mind it. it's not among the best of aespa's titles but it's definitely not the worst either (fwiw my tt ranking is: next level > illusion > savage > black mamba > spicy > girls. illusion is essentially a title TO ME... i still remain of the opinion they should've made it the title instead of girls). ok this ranking makes it seem like i don't even like it that much but i DO i just think their other titles are better. i think production on salty & sweet sounds a little hollow(?) and kind of low budget but in spite of that i still love the song... i love heavy synth and minor keys thats my fucking problem etc. also that bridge + the adlibs at the end...<3 thirsty and i'm unhappy are fine, 'til we meet again really had me hoping the music box intro would sustain throughout the song or at least re-appear periodically but it just gave way to Basic Ballad Acoustic Guitar Chords which made me kind of madge but it's fine ig. as established i am not one of god's ballad lovers. and that is okay. overall it was an okay mini, i think savage ep remains untouchable in their discography though.

> how much i personally enjoyed it: 8/10
> objectively how good i think it is: 7/10

LE SSERAFIM - UNFORGIVEN
personal ranking: unforgiven > eve = fire in the belly > everything else >> fearnot
i love noise music so i knew i would like unforgiven as soon as i heard the teasers. seriously obsessed with the vaguely latin-esque accent chaewon adopts in this song and antifragile, like it kind of reminds me of how winter sounded in savage lmfao. something about girls with blunt bangs and bobs + random foreign accents. i also really liked how punchy yunjin's first verse was. i wanted to like eve SO much. when i heard the teaser i was literally so excited bc i'm a sucker for that jersey club sound, but i feel like i definitely set my expectations too high...overall i think the verse instrumentals are kind of incongruous with the chorus & topline, and the boom boom lyrics were kind like ? What. but it's still among the more enjoyable songs on the album to me. i kind of have the same issue with fire in the belly, where the verses and chorus feel disjointed, but i love latin soccer anthem sounding songs so bad it's unreal... literally hashtag latinas do it better etc. as balladhater69 you already know but if there's one thing that instantly turns me off even more than being a ballad, it's a "dedicated to fandom" ballad, bonus negative(?) points if the fandom name is somewhere in the title or the lyrics. i know this is the opportunity for the more ambitious/songwriting-inclined members to flex their lyricism or whatever but it is seriously just soo snoozefest boring to me 90% of the time. i do realize im not the target audience though so umm well... i do be skipping this song every time without fail. (8/4 edit: i am so sick of eve... but i do have to admit the rina sawayama remix was good. like if i were not so tired of the song i would be streaming this remix nonstop)

extra ass tangent / rant kinda
this isn't commentary on the music itself but am i the only one who feels kind of cheated by hype/soumu trying to pass this off as a "full album"? 3 of the songs are re-recorded from their first ep, which i don't mind in concept—like ok their historical revisionism slay, but this in addition to having antifragile and impurities on there...with 5 already released songs on the tracklist, this is essentially a repack. mini album length even, considering that there are only like 6 new songs. AND ANOTHER THING--i kind of am not reallyy vibing with the heavy-handed imagery and symbolism in lsfm's mvs... like it almost teeters on the side of too corny/camp to me...sorry women. BUT they're all very hot and the visuals are visualling so mostly i can just turn off my critique brain to enjoy that. also intro/talking songs in general either end up on one side or the other of the cringe/camp divide To Me, like i enjoyed the hydra but couldn't take burn the bridge seriously at all.. every time i heard yunjin go "a door. and another door" i was mentally following it up with [lady gaga vc] "bus club another club another club another club plane next place no sleep" ultimately i appreciate the effort their a&r team is putting into connecting the overarching storyline and concepts but unfortunately it is just not hitting for me. i think unforgiven has the weakest b-sides in their entire discography so far, i think no celestial from antifragile and sour grapes/blue flame from fearless are still their best b-sides by far.

> how much i enjoyed it: 6/10
> how good objectively i think it is: 5/10

LEE CHAEYEON - OVER THE MOON
personal ranking: KNOCK (SOTY) > i don't wanna know > don't be a jerk > line by line >> like a star
knock seriously soty for me. like idk i think it's also in part thanks to the transcendent choreo (she's a dancer she dances!!) but it's just sooo perfect to me—the audiovisual experience from watching her stage performances is truly enjoyable on another level. guy who spent like 15 minutes of a call with beloved ash just watching chaeyeon - knock live performance videos on youtube together. "i don't wanna know" is literally the balenciaga runway phonk song that i've been waiting for in kpop all this time. ITS SO GOOD i love noise i love music that makes me feel kind of nervous. the instrumentals go on for quite a while, so much that i almost thought this was an entirely instrumental song.

> how much i enjoyed it: 9/10
> how good objectively i think it is: 9/10

IVE - I'VE IVE
personal ranking: hypnosis > lips = next page = blue blood > i am = kitsch = not your girl = cherish > heroine = mine >> shine with me
i love the vaguely arabic(?) influenced songs so much, hypnosis and blue blood are really at the top for me. but sometimes u feel like listening to cute light peppy songs so lips and next page satisfy that mood as well. and it's not that i dislike i am or kitsch, i just feel like their other titles/promotional b-sides are comparatively better. like eleven/take it + love dive/royal + after like/my satisfaction have all been perfect single/b-side combinations to me!! kitsch has grown on me but i also feel like it is somewhat of a conditioned sm-stan response to songs that have wildly disjointed chorus/verses. not your girl sounds sooo much like sistar. it works! SORRY I HATE BALLADS x834923... ik this is their vocal flexing moment but i do not care for it.. overall decent album with a lot of versatile, enjoyable NEW b-sides, the only miss with me was shine with me but again. that is my problem.

> how much i enjoyed it: 7/10
> how good i objectively think it is: 7/10

KEP1ER - LOVESTRUCK!
personal ranking: back to the city > giddy > everything else
as oomf in law put it, giddy is like if a really good song was mid. i don't know what it is about kep1er/their creative direction/agency/whatever because they do technically have all the basic components for a relatively decent gg (charismatic visual center sxt, decent vocalist(s)?, solid dancers) but uhhhh i have not been particularly impressed by anything they've come out with since last summer. their best release title-wise to me is still up! (2022) and b-side-wise, mvsk (2021). nothing they have done since has come even close to touching those; the summer beach pool party girls just wanna have fun vibes were immaculate, and mvsk was so good i almost wish it was the title instead of wa-da-da. but to be fair wa-da-da was an earworm eventually for me so i don't even dislike it. anyway i love the concept art for lovestruck! and back to the city is honestly a pretty good b-side. i feel like everything else is really whatever tho.

> how much i enjoyed it: 6/10
> how good i objectively think it is: 5/10
 
BILLLIE - THE BILLAGE OF PERCEPTION: CHAPTER THREE

personal ranking: nevertheless = eunoia > lionheart > everything else
really solid mini tbh, i love the layering in nevertheless so much, really wish they did this as the promotional bside instead of enchanted night. eunoia is good, i like the light airy feeling it gives, almost whimsical/fairy-like. lionheart is also good! everything else was listenable but mildly forgettable. but overall i enjoyed it. i can usually trust billlie to deliver a decent crop of songs.

> how much i enjoyed it: 8/10
> how good i objectively think it is: 8/10
 
ITZY - KILL MY DOUBT
personal ranking: killshot > none of my business > psychic lover > bratty >>> cake
i'm not sure who in their a&r team they pissed off in the past 3 years but my god my poor girls. like i don't even think sneakers was that bad in retrospect, i feel like it was a combination of the lack of cohesive direction + maximalist concept poorly executed + clown lyrics that made it feel worse than it actually was. i mean it definitely wasn't good either but. you know. it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. and i actually really enjoyed cheshire as a song, but i found that it almost had the opposite problem where the creative direction was a little too boring/toned down... like the song literally has alice in wonderland reference in the title for free but the fact that they didn't lean into that angle and instead had mostly neutrals/minimalist styling was like... why :( anyway, onto cake.................well it certainly was a song. at least ryujin looks reallllllly hot rn [weibo face holding back tears emoji]. i think i like the killshot stage itself with the symbolism and choreo slightly more than the actual song but overall it's good! guy who loves killer/killing/sos/danger concepts.... surprisingly i think none of my business is also up there depsite the mid-tempo-ness, though i do think it gets somewhat repetitive. psychic lover gives me crazy throwback pop-rock vibes.

> how much i enjoyed it: 6/10
> how good i think it objectively is: 5/10

MISAMO - MASTERPIECE
personal ranking: do not touch > behind the curtain >> funny valentine > everything else > marshmallow > bouquet
do not touch is my fav song off the mini, it is soooo catchy and fun and i kept looping it otw to work this week. marshmallow is kind of exactly what i expected to hear from a misamo subunit, as well as bouquet which is essentially ummm slow-tempo ballad adjacent song without too much vocal exertion. funny valentine is quite cute.

> how much i enjoyed it: 7.5/10
> how good i think objectively is: 6.5/10
 
SINGLES (or title tracks off of eps/albums i haven't listened to)
  • IVE - WAVE: i liked this... heavy synth is always good To Me + choreo is super satisfying. 9/10
  • TRIPLE S - RISING: this song is so good to me, i still haven't listened to the cherry whatever song but i've liked both rising and generation so much...for better or worse jaden jeong's still got it 9.5/10
  • OH MY GIRL - SUMMER COMES: the summer gg bop we needed. it's not like, the best song omg has ever released but it's pretty solid. 8/10

LASTLY

uhhhhh i know i did assign all of these numerical scores out of ten but if you asked me to breakdown any of the scores i could not do it, i 100% decided scores purely based off of vibes (the vibes in question overwhelmingly consisting of "fuck it sure peggle"). also this post was completed over a three month period so the me of may 2023 and the me of aug 2023 well who could say if those are the same people... i know random music review posties was not what any of my audience(?) was anticipating from me but :) it is a post and i have completed it :) back to the (fic) writing mines now....
sarcoline: (Default)
filing this along with other posts that i thought i’d have done by now (candlespost, favorite triangulations, chaebol theory) but ummmm better late than never. unfortunately i’ve been wildly inconsistent with my skincare for the past year (to year and a half) up until like maybe last august.. but i feel like it’s made a bit of difference? which is to say i still have my off-days/occasional breakouts but i think they’ve gotten less frequent, which is a net positive. i know consistency is really key but sometimes skincare really does feel like my very own hellish rube-goldberg machine => And then nothing even happened. also this post is 90% “omg this smells so good” sorry for loving scents and smells that’s my fucking problem.

the hellish rube goldberg machine in question
am
  • CLEANSER: water - winter is so dry around here so i usually don’t find it necessary to use a cleanser in the morning unless im doing a full face. sometimes i'll use the innisfree cherry blossom dewy glow jam cleanser (thank u jo for the rec) if it feels like i need it. smells really good and gets the job done/doesn’t strip my skin dry.
  • TONER: laniege cream skin - it’s been taking me forever to use up this shit… i can’t tell if it’s really doing anything that beneficial but at least it’s not breaking me out.
  • ACTIVE: glow recipe watermelon glow niacinamide dew drops - SMELLS SO GOOD. i've been adding a few drops of it to my base/tinted moisturizer/concealers/whatever i've decided to use on days i want coverage for extra moisture and glow. i feel like it does work but maybe i am prone to bias bc it smells good and feels nice...
  • SPF: skin aqua tone up uv essence happiness aura - this smells so good. and doesn’t have white cast and has a very nice texture when it dries down. and the packaging is pretty i love shiny + ombré. i do use skin aqua uv super moisture gel gold on occasion if i know i'm going to be in the sun/outside for longer. it also has a more hydrating formula.
pm
  • OIL CLEANSER: kose softymo deep cleansing oil - so i’m not exactly in love with this…like yes it does get my make up off but at the cost of being extremely hard to wash off. And i have so much of it left like the bottle is literally 80% full and i can’t bring myself to toss it [gun emoji][skull emoji] also this is not the viral pink tiktok one that i'm kind of being baited into considering bc it has pretty packaging + allegedly better performance but i am hesitant to trust them again T_T i also use loreal dermo gentle eye and lip remover for heavier makeup days. or if i just don't want to deal with the softymo.
  • CLEANSER: innisfree cherry blossom dewy glow jam cleanser / etude house soon jung ph 5.5 foam cleanser - both are good, i use the soon jung one if im starting in my skincare in the shower, and the cherry blossom one otherwise. i was previously using herbivore’s pink cloud jelly cleanser, which is honestly one of the best i've used but it’s also at a higher price point and has mildly heavy duty(?) packaging; that’s not inherently a bad thing and actually i do like the glass bottle bc it feels more weighty but i’m always afraid it’s going to shatter in the shower and it’s annoying to travel with.
  • TONER: laniege cream skin
  • ACTIVES: ever since hopping on the skin cycling train i alternate between days of retinoid -> exfoliation -> recovery using the following products - murad retinol youth renewal serum -> the ordinary glycolic acid 7% toning solution -> the ordinary niacinamide 10% + zinc 2%. i like the murad, which is unfortunate for me because it’s going to cost a lot to replenish when i’m done with it :’). the ordinary’s products are pretty standard ie i can never tell if the niacinamide is actually working but again at least it is not actively causing me breakouts. i’ve been using the glycolic acid for my scalp as well tho.. wonder product. i’ve been thinking about switching to herbivore’s bakuchiol serum as a retinol alternative just to see what works as i happen to have a sample of it…it’s also half the price of the murad :hopeful:
  • SERUMS: krave beauty great barrier relief - this smells like nuts which makes sense bc i think macadamia nut oil is one of the ingredients but it really caught me off guard when i first started using it lmao. i use this on recovery nights along with the niacinamide, it is fairly effective to me :) i've also been using the ordinary caffeine solution 5% + ecgc under my eyes on and off for the past year or so. who can say if it's been effective or not... i feel like i have to accept at some point that i am just meant to look as dead as i feel at least partially at all times. zombiecore <3 girls who look like they are corpses <3
  • MOISTURIZER: recently made the switch to clinique moisture surge thanks to sephora generous 50% off deal... im hoping i dont like too much bc it's going to be terrible to rebuy but uhhhh so far it seems like it's working and my skin likes it so :') </3333. before that i was using mamonde calming hydro sleeping mask as a moisturizer. the scent is supposed to be calendula but it smells like straight up HONEYYY so i always want to eat this shit. it's decent but i think it might not be thick enough for winter dryness. i’ve been going through it pretty quickly which is unfortunate bc i think it was discontinued, or at least i can’t find it on their official website anymore. i got it discounted a while back at ulta anyway so i wasn’t really expecting to use it regularly in my routine but…things happen i guess..
  • MASKS (2-3x/wk):
    • my beauty diary aloe vera / black pearl - tried and true. i love mbd masks bc they're so thin that they stick to the skin really well... and they're relatively cheaper which is always good for my wallet
    • mediheal n.m.f. aquaring ampoule mask / hydro nude gel mask - the ampoule mask is my go to, but i don't think it's like significantly better than the mbd ones or anything... the nude gel is fun to put on but also i don't see too much of a difference in effect.
    • abib mild acidic ph sheet mask aqua fit - i liked this. kinda want to try out the other abib ones too, particularly the heartleaf one!
  • SPOT TREATMENT: prescription clindamycin toner + hydrocolloid patches + differin gel on rotation
  • LIP CARE: laniege lip sleeping masks (berry/sweet candy/peach iced tea) - all delicious.. berry kinda outsold tho which is why it's a little distressing that i cannot find her rn. 2nd is peach iced tea and then sweet candy. i've also been using the creme shop x cinnamoroll peach mousse lip balm but we all know i got that for the packaging and not anything else. it's okay i guess, i've used worse/better. hesitating on whether to put the milani fruit fetish lip oil here bc idk if that counts more as makeup or skincare but uhhhh i like it! smells good keeps my lips hydrated, the strawberry melon scent delicious. also elf lip exfoliator - brown sugar changed my life, flakey lips are a thing of the past <3
other
  • UP NEXT + products i’ve been wanting to try:
    • tatcha dewy skin cream - if fsr moisture surge doesn't work out (doubtful) i have a travel size of this to get through as winter nighttime moisturizer
    • herbivore’s aquarius pore purifying cream - the only thing really holding me off from this product is the packaging + formulation… not aesthetically bc aesthetically herbivore’s packaging is amazing, but hearing one too many horror stories about their moisturizer packaging being a breeding ground for bacteria bc they're ~clean beauty~ (no preservatives) is really making me have second thoughts. like preservatives are good actually. But also pastel blue cream in glass jar pretty…
    • saborino sheet masks pack - feel like this would be nice to keep in the fridge, maybe economical alternative for sheetmasks when i run out of my current stash from last asia trip. i have my eye on the peach one. 
    • dr jart cicapair color correcting treatment - ok tbh i saw horror stories about this giving people rashes so now idk that i want to try it that badly anymore... i think my current concealer + tinted moisturizer combo is actually doing pretty good of a job on the redness front so like. maybe not necessary anymore?
    • innisfree daily uv defense sunscreen and ahc natural perfection double shield sunstick - i have so much sunscreen from my last trip to get through that these will probably have to wait until at least fall, but i did want to try the ahc sunstick after seeing jus use it!
    • kind of want to try roundlab / beauty of joseon to see of either of them are worth the hype, coincidentally also want to try more essences/serums/ferments so maybe smth from any of these two brands..
    • i want a new hand cream. i don't need one but i want one.
  • DNR👎
    • paula's choice bha broke me out so bad... emailed customer service was told there was a purging period but girl 3 weeks????? it's sitting half used tucked away in my bathroom cabinet i hate to see it i hate to look at it.
    • KOSE SOFTYMO DEEP CLEANSING OIL (see above)
  • i keep debating whether to put my current rotation of fragrances here as well but i feel like that goes more with makeup categorically. but then that would mean committing to another separate makeup post so.... um..... well....
  • in the same vein just realized i do have haircare products/a haircare routine as well... ummm well.



sarcoline: (Default)
prospective menu for the rest of 2021

fic (wips of some substance)
nahyuck — canonverse pwp
  • sequel to keep saying you're a freak
  • has been like 10 words away from completion for a month now
  • i really need to post this like .this week lmao. praying for writeful energies soon >__<
jaemjen — nominfest 🙂

jaemjen — model & makeup artist au
  • angst w a happy ending (i think) + sneak peek here
  • probably the longest thing i've ever written and it's been sitting at ummmm 80% done for about half a year now. this one is just... um. i have the intense need to see jaemin at his loneliest and lowest most miserable when he's also most beautiful and at the top and this is that fic. jeno as his emotional support bickering partner turned fwb turned ???? gary i love ambiguous relationships
  • a lot of jet-setting and unhealthy coping mechanisms and picturesque backdrops for empty double-meaning conversations. um hopefully i get it out sometime this year...
jaemjen — canonverse fwb au
  • based on (tinhatty) battle trip lore
  • jaemin comes back from hiatus w/ the chilling realization he's in love w/ jeno >> they sleep together >> things get awkward/awk/distant bc jm crippling fear of being known/found out/vulnerable on main >> jaemjen get slated to do another season of battle trip and jm has to navigate the aftermath of his actions
  • tbh i think the snippet explains the vibes better than i do
jaemjen — rival asmr youtubers au
  • college au-ish
  • i have literally had this one in the works for ages but also that could be said for almost all of the wips i have on this list. the idea IS this crack_taken_seriously, smutty thing that i've wanted to do for the longest time.
  • premise is that jeno's an asmr artist who discovers rival nana asmr who.. jeno doesn't even think is all that until... he finds jaemin's onlyfans. kinda want to explore/expose jeno's not so secretly petty side like i know we all know even when he's flawed he's perfect but petty jeno -> h^rny jeno something that can be so personal
jaemren — rule 63 rj college au pwp
  • based off of this tumblr post
  • fem!renjun + business major frat douchebag jaemin >:)
  • explicit, just shameless pwp, with rj typical repression, snippet here <3
luwin — canonverse, bbb fic
  • set during their 2021 china trip + quarantine, snippet here
  • character study, relationship study, explicit, bbbisms, angst etc, eventual getting together
  • i've always wanted to explore winwin's approach to idolhood and how he gets through it given that this wasn't even something he wanted for himself in the first place + how hard sm pursued him in the first place only to end up treating him like... that.
  • plenty of bleak boyband isms: #sunk cost fallacy, #mixed talent levels, #stop smothering me!, #giving up on asserting personal space boundaries, #keep expecting to encounter your limit on what you'll compromise on and not finding it, #picking up smoking because it's one of maybe 3 addictions that probably won't ruin your career etc, the list goes on
(also ummm 2 forbidden/shameful jhnmk fic that i might post on main if feeling charitable but probably won't. idk feel free to dm for details tho)

wips that are considerably less substantial:
  • (mark)nomin — vampire au where jaemin turns jeno into a baby vampire (something something the img of jeno feeding on jm and not knowing how to control his impulses/needing to be taught) + potential additional sxc mark part where he's their pet human
  • jensung or jaemjen — pomegaverse au (no, not omegaverse) where jeno gets turned into a samoyed and needs affection from a certain someone to turn back (sorry is guy who loves cliches)
  • jaemjen — ya toxic vaguely citt au where jaemin is the killer and jeno is his prey/love interest.. something about jaemin bringing metaphorical or literal dead birds (everyone who has ever wronged jeno) to jeno's doorstep is so. that predatory/prey dynamic. iykyk.
  • jaemren — cherry magic au, corporate setting, curses, renjun as a ~30 year old virgin who can see peoples thoughts by touching them and the only way to get rid of this curse is to lose his virginity. cue jaemin handsome beautifulface Coworker!!!! :D i love it when they are actually coworkers so much.
  • jaemjen -— jm fallen angel / jn angel au based off of this + this art!! basically an excuse to write wingkink 
  • jaemin eats ppl fic — no i will not elaborate
ummmm i literally have a million jmjn wips half-baked ideas tho so i cannot list them all otherwise this post would be 9234823048 words

tinhat central (dw essay to-do list)*these are not in any particular order

na jaemin chaebol theory 🔒 
um. i have been saying i would write this for ages but like honestly at a loss as to what else i can put here that doesn't make me sound deranged and obsessed and also part of it is a little "what are you doing at the devil's sacrament" as per ciel's response to me knowing extreme detail about his watches... ahm... just going to explain this one with i am watch guy (and also car guy, covering my ass in case jaemin suddenly feels an inclination to start a car collection)... and then ik sometimes people get weird about family background speculation/theorizing so. jury is still out on this one. maybe f-locking it is the move, if i do make it...

comprehensive mark complex theory primer/thesis/masterpost
ngl i do feel like i've said all there is to say about this topic but i think for archiving purposes i will compile / streamline everything i've written about each dreamie's mark complex (or lack thereof in jisung's case) in a more digestible manner? not that anything i say makes sense ever but i just think it is important to make known that jaemin's mark complex is different from everybody else's. and that jisung is perfect bc he will never have markitis.

nct dream omegaverse designations 
or fun! it's My Opinion. which is the correct opinion ofc. as guy who isn't even into omegaverse That Much, it's funny to dedicate an entire post to it but if there's one thing i like doing it's having opinions on things so.

possible drm 0-1 scale
for fun but also for serious! i am simultaneously being sincere and insincere at all times. well actually i already did this here but i might make a full length dw post and elaborate anyway.

nct government assigned emojis + constructive criticism from experts (the expert being me)
🔒 
this is a powerpoint presentation i made back in may for scholarship! it will probably be friendlocked in dw post form as i have a few ummmmm politically sensitive (mildly hateristic) opinions in it.

overall
so i think that's everything i have plans to do so far! the fest and nahyuck are obviously my top priority rn wrt to fic, but re: other fic.. i'm not extremely confident in how much i can get done by the end of this year. ig setting up a gameplan is still better than nothing...tbh what'll probably end up happening is bouts of hatesprinting interspersed with dw shitposting from a project of choice on my dw essay todo list and then more sprinting.

++as always, welcoming any opinions/thoughts/anything re: any potential project in the comments or on twt or cc

sarcoline: (ryujin 2)
i will never be on time and that is a promise (unfortunately)

WATCHING (shows, 90s anime, kpop misc.)

SERIES: SEX EDUCATION - S2 (2020) ★★★★☆

OKAY so i finished s2 literally like idk. a week or two after my last media consumption update. and what a spectacular ending. i think my favorite thing about sex ed is that everyone's at least little shitty. some obviously more than others but like, no one is free from blame and fuckups and being human and i just think it's incredible how the show wove together all these different narratives in a way that felt very... purposeful? like nobody was there just to be there as a one dimensional plot device. i knowww i feel like im sounding super vague rn but i'm also not trying to give out spoilers here so... idk. i just wanted to say for the record my favorite characters are maeve and adam's mom maureen. the rest of them are kinda shittier than these two. not that i don't love shitty characters because i do, but maeve and maureen are just so likeable. they are more likeable than other characters are fun to hate so i guess that's why they're my favs. super curious as to how they're going to move on in s3...

SERIES: GOSSIP GIRL - S1E2 (2021) ★☆☆☆☆

regrettably(?) i will not be able to give as in-depth of a haterism rant about episode 2 of gossip girl as i did with episode 1 given that i basically mindwiped it from my brain a few days after watching it. all i can say is that um. it was bad. it was bad not in the "oh this is fun to hate" way, but bad in the "this is literally steaming hot garbage also nobody talks like that" way. like i had close to zero expectations going into the second episode and yet. it somehow managed to disappoint even further. i had to read an actual recap to understand what was actually going on. and even then it was like the What? Okay then. i think the biggest flaw of this show is that the characters themselves are so poorly written that i don't feel compelled by the poor excuse of a narrative at all. like i'm not getting the motivations behind why people do the things they do and also the dialogue tries so hard to sound woke and gen z and it just misses the mark; instead it comes off inhuman and cringey and unnatural, like an ai wrote the script. like someone inserted the prompt < "gen z" "gossip girl" "woke" "diverse" "lgbt" > and let it do its thing. actually no, i'm pretty sure talktotransformer could spit out a better script than whatever these writers think 14-18 year olds sound like these days... also evan mock is like. hilariously bad. like it's almost entertaining to watch him attempt to act? word on the street is they wanted him in this show so badly they literally wrote this character for him so he could play it. which is incredible to me considering how badly it turned out. like i'm almost impressed. anyway ripley also informed me that eps 3, 4 and 5 are still bad but in a more entertaining way (beloved messed up throuple gets together); unfortunately or fortunately however, that is not enough for me to continue on this high-risk low-rewards path. i will stick to hearing about this disaster of a show secondhand.

ANIME: DETECTIVE CONAN (1996 - ongoing) ★★★★★

continuing my mainlining rewatch of conan w/ beloved ash! we are now at the ummmm nearing the 600 ep mark. which is crazy. unforch our pace will probably decline as we both get busy again over the next few months but we will persist!! murdertonins are a very important part of our daily diet. i already lowkey gave a rundown in my last media round up, but also most of my conan thoughts re: eps 1-500 are in this comment on ash's conan post.

we hit a major plot point recently so the rest of my thoughts Will be spoilered! (ik it is kinda funny to spoiler tag for a series that has been out since 1996 but i am trying not to be an asshole if i can help it)

spoilers for anything up until ep 581:
>> literally just finished ep 581 aka department store bombing case
>> watched ash process fake akai being bourbon in real time... it has been so hard these past 50 eps doing anything other than going "hehe >:)" in the chat whenever she was like "WTF WHO IS HE" 
>> jodie gaslighting herself for free poor girl... when ur bf tells u he has to break things off w/ u because he's dating someone even tho it's for his undercover mission bc he still "cannot love two people at the same time" like damn is it that serious.. but it is also so funny to me that they are exes like the chemistry is negative zero i know i love hets in conan but ummmmm this can be exception. 
>> IDENITYFUCKERY IS SO GOOD!!! it's true that akam is ashbait but it is also michbait i love killers and snipers and people who aren't who they say they are... i love liars!!... also that shot of bourbon winking straight up at chianti through the sniper scope is so sxc (is guy who is am extremely susceptible to smug bastards). i also love that okiya also just straight up waxes cryptic poetry about hunting and wolves and whatever whenever important plot points happen, just like haibara... when u are in-laws in two directions. i can't wait to meet bourbon (Again) fr... blonde dark-skinned niisan <3
>> my tentative dcmk character ranking here but disclaimer that i did it in like 10 minutes so ummmm it could possibly be tweaked in some places i just got impatient. how can an anime be 1000+ eps long how can a cast have 50+ people etc


KPOP: GIRLS PLANET 999 - EPISODE 1

started this on a whim pressured by tl and oh boy. the fact that yujin is on this show at all is soooo T__T admittedly i was not a clc stan in their heyday but i really did love "no" and "helicopter" and "black dress" and "hobgoblin" and ummmm i think that's all the clc i know. omg also pepe. yujin's already one of my top picks bc of the way she handled the fu yaning situation, which was SO awkward btw. i know it was for tv drama purposes but like stillll. and i haven't watched ep 2 yet but i know she's going to kill bubble pop. anyway i like how they tried to intermingle(?) all the trainees from the c, j, and k groups by clustering them based off of random traits and watching them struggle together was very cute if not a little embarrassing but i've also just accepted extreme second-hand embarrassment as an inextricable part of watching survival shows at this point. speaking of embarrassment, CHEN HSINWEI... my god she is so cute and pretty and hilarious (when asked who she thought was pretty she was like 'i can't see lol') but kinda um... u know. hoping for her growth although i will always stan my highrankers aka everyone who did k/da pop/stars in k-group and the j group 01 girl.. and c group 01. i think. sorry i will learn names by next week i promise.


READING(ish)
tbh all i do is reread old fic i already like these days or pick at the 2 or 3 novels i've been putting off for the longest time... i have no new books to share or any substantial reading thoughts this month other than that i love it when my friends share book quotes/song lyrics/etc that remind them of me or my agendas. u know who u are <3

currently reading:
novels — 
mexican gothic - silvia moreno-garcia, the chaos of stars - kiersten white
webtoons — omniscient reader's pov, solo leveling, other assorted webtoons from the line webtoon app (like seriously so many), assorted nsfw bl manhua/hwa/ga...tbh not much has changed form last month wrt this!


LISTENING
music for the last 30 days:


top artists

1. doja cat
2. chungha
3. d.o
3. dhruv
3. magdalena bay
top albums

1. planet her - doja cat
2. querencia - chungha
3. 공감 (empathy) - d.o
4. double take - dhruv
5. hot pink - doja cat
top tracks

1. dream of you (with r3hab) - chungha
2. get into it (yuh) - doja cat
3. double take - dhruv
4. best friend (ft. doja cat, jamie & chanmina) - jamie
5. tomboy - destiny rogers


dream of you is seriously like crack to my earssss it's such a catchy song and i love chungha and i love the production on it idk its just so good... 1st place deserve. also just wanted everyone to know that get into it (yuh) and tomboy are both in my abg jaemin playlist (which also contains copious amounts of niki, kiana lede, and keshi... hahah). double take is like... the gay feelsy song i need to listen on repeat to feel emotions again (boy you got me hooked onto something who could say that they saw us coming; tell me, do you feel the love— i literally hear this line in my sleep...) ummm this was a very dojaful month. also everybody go stream d.o solo album. my personal favorite songs off of it are i'm gonna love you, my love, and i'm fine. i see i've left my fuckboy chase atlantic phase back in june (finally).

again i want to say last.fm isn't the best representation of all my music intake bc i do a fair bit of it on youtube as well! (it is not my fault slowed and reverb versions of songs are so good...)

WRITING + OVERALL

ended my ao3 posting drought!!! mich1stwin or whatever ^___^ cha and i have a dw commentary post coming up for that fic, which rly was a labor of love and also a little bit of 临时抱佛脚... the insane energy we had while finishing it up at the eleventh hour over voice call was unreal. but i really do all my best(?) work last minute im a procrastinator by nature i cannot change this.

ummm also i have so many ideas and so little organization skill so i will attempt to make a wip schedule/masterpost of all my ao3 fic plans and dw essay plans soon!! (it is half completed in my dw drafts rn lol). ig it's also to gather opinions / see which ideas have the most interest etc etc, so i'm looking forward to getting that out soon!

++ have made a few new mutuals on rpf twt so i just wanted to ummm let ppl know it is totally ok to mutual me on dw as well if ur interested in longform insane metaposting/theorycrafting/writing-about-writing-but-not-actually-writing!

thank u for reading all this if you've made it this far <3 feel free to leave a thought below or catch me on twt or cc

sarcoline: (jeno 1)

late as hell and (kinda) long as hell but here we are

WATCHING (shows, 90s anime, kpop misc.)

SERIES: SEX EDUCATION - S1 (2019) ★★★★☆

okay so i actually watched this back in 2019 when it first dropped on netflix! i don't really remember if i finished season 1 or not, but i don't think i stopped watching bc i didn't like it; in fact, i remember quite liking it a lot. probably something something adhd attention span and like.... school or whatever who knows. my pasta strainer goldfish birdbrain memory not helping with this at all. point being im currently rewatching it and it's just as fun as i remember; there's something just so loveable about most of the characters in spite (actually most of the time because) of their flaws, and even the characters i don't love still have compelling backgrounds and motivations.

disclaimer that i've only gotten halfway through s1 in my re-watch so im basically in the same place as my first watch, plot-wise so everything i say will be from that perspective. currently my favorite dynamic def goes to maeve and otis.. like i know they r both cute with other people but if there's one thing im gonna do it's tinhat/tinhet/be delusional. maeve is seriously one of my favorite characters and i love how her confidence, sarcasm and wit play off of otis' bundle of nerves and reluctant earnesty, if that makes sense. i vaguely remember the eric adam storyline and remember quite enjoying that as well. um i also think gillian anderson is hot as fuck. a milf in every sense of the word. anyway looking foward to catching up esp since s3 is coming out soon! i think!

SERIES: GOSSIP GIRL - S1E1 (2021) ★☆☆☆☆

ok i literally didn't want to watch this at all but then my friend basically conned  forced strong-armed convinced me into doing it. and so i sat through the first episode, all 59 minutes of it. and well.... it's.... certainly... a show. watching this and then watching sex ed again really makes me appreciate sex ed that much more because this show is objectively very very bad on multiple fronts LOL. i've complained about this show to like two mutuals on the tl but haterism knows no rest.

i'll list my grievances out from most to least severe and end with the (few) parts that i enjoyed/am actually interested in:

under the cut bc spoilers:
the premise of this show is sooooo. weird. like i know they had to make it work within the same continuity as the og gossip girl so i give kudos for that but that's it. so whereas the original gossip girl had gossip girl actually be one of the students, this reboot frames impetus as an issue between the teachers and the students. like. the teachers are gossip girl. which I KNOW is pretty good way to incorporate it in the same verse but still. like execution-wise it baffles me to no end.

even given the class differences between the middle-to-middle-upper class teachers (because despite the show's attempt to portray otherwise, these teachers are not anywhere close to being "poor") and the filthy rich students, this is still... an abuse of authority at the most basic level?? like the fact that these children have seemingly endless indispensable wealth does not make it okay for teachers to ummm take and post pictures of them half-naked (esp considering that one of them is fifteen??? years old???) in order to enact petty revenge/keep them them "in check" like hello u are adults and these are minors... not to bring up age discourse etc etc but like seriously. and what's worse imo is that the entire child p^rn moment was actually lampshaded with a brief "ew i felt so gross taking these" "okay but.... For The Mission (of what exactly? controlling fifteen year-olds?)... we Must Use Them" *shrugs and takes the phone with the child p^rn anyway* LIKE THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED LMAO... ? made me feel gross and wtf??? and every other palpable emotion of disgust possible.

onto more subjective(?) things that i had problems with:
  • the male love interest:
    • first of all, this guy looks like he's pushing 30 i was really surprised to see that apparently he is only 21????? [insert whatever comment abt yt men aging badly + also comment about how netflix shows cast ppl who look 10 years too old to be playing the age they're supposed to be].
    • secondly, i could see the love triangle coming miles away between zoya (middle-class new girl at constance billard) and julien (popular rich girl who is ""nice"" and zoya's step sister) and this dude (his name is obie? what the fuck). like it was painfully obvious and to be honest!! being predictable isn't inherently a bad thing but when it's predictable in a way that kills whatever interest i had in the sister/step-sister dynamic then. it is bad. to me.
    • thirdly HE ISNT EVEN THAT DESIRABLE??? ok im not one to speak bc like my type is questionable as well but at least mine are usually objectively beautiful!!! this guy not only (as previously mentioned) looks like he's at least a grad student but also ummm his only trait is being put-out boyfriend who's always used as a social media prop to julien who Misses The Old Her. like ok..... idk. not super compelling for me.
  • the main teacher's voice is annoying as fuckkkk. she sounds like jennifer coolidge but like insufferable. like a cross between jennifer coolidge and the most annoying english teacher you've ever had.
  • the references (olivia jade, ummm some others i don't quite remember) are always so close yet so far. i know technically they're relevant but somehow both the ones they choose to use in the show AND the ways in which they use them just miss the mark. it's like they did their research and just stopped shy of enough research that would make the dialogue that much less cringe and the background that much more realistic...
  • the music was bad. maybe i'm just nostalgic for the old gg but ummm this music is Not it.
OK on to the ~good:

i love fucked up relationships, especially ones that are clearly centered around disaster human beings, which one of these characters certainly is: max, i think his name is, is a h^rny hedonist pansexual flirt who clearly means nothing but trouble and i think he's my favorite ^___^ im soooo interested to see how he affects the established couple (guy who is bicurious and girl who is seemingly uninterested in her own bf) who are clearly both interested him. like i am watching this show for him probably. and them. i am (unforch) watching this garbage show for this throuple. i hope they have complicated entanglements very much. and that's it.

also while i was typing up this post:
1:13 AM     me: i didnt consume that much media outside of kpop
1:13 AM     me: oh i watched sex ed and conan and one episode of gossip girl
1:14 AM     ripley: the first episode*
1:14 AM     ripley: you will be watching more
so um. look forward to more hate-watching next month i guess.


ANIME: DETECTIVE CONAN (1996 - ongoing) ★★★★★


started (re)watching this last month with dw user rhodochrosite in our quest to find out Who Drives The Plane in shinkai (shinichi/kaito) aka markmin. yes, the founding basis of this content consumption is kaito jaemin. as guys who have Strongly Fixed Preferences this is perfectly valid reason to start watching a franchise with 1000+ episodes. in fact, this isn't even my first re-watch LOL. i remember rewatching all plot-relevant/canon episodes during sophomore(?) year of high school and it took me roughly... half a year? iirc. idk time is fake so that could be totally wrong but...

anyway. watching with a friend is! so much fun lmfao (even if i have to hold myself back from spoiling when the occasional memory of an impending plot twist comes up). thoroughly enjoying all the haptics and proxemics along with rediscovering and attaching names to my favorite tropes and relationships that come up within conan including but not limited to:
  • conan/kogoro murder magnet
  • chotto toire, ahrere, aka conan's kindergartener-cosplay
  • Killers activating conan's "where's the proof i did it" trap card
  • Did He Deserve to Die? most of the time yes, it seems.
  • osaka-tokyo prodigy detective polycule
  • haibara is the Killer (non-derogatory)
  • shinichi/haibara workmarrieds + schrodingers' power struggle
  • shinichi/kaito rivalry (in love, evenly matched, intellectual foreplay)
  • shinichi/heiji rivalry (bros, men in mens business)
  • shinichi/kaito/ran triangulation (fellas is it gay to cosplay as ur rival's love interest)
  • etc etc there is probably more but these r most notable To Me
tbh i might just make a separate dcmk post altogether when i have enough meta/thoughts/material/have figured out who is driving the plane but also we are still only in the mid 200s and this is again a 1000+ ep series. so. there is time. for now tho the verdict is tenuously shinkai(shin). extremely susceptible to change. like ash said our societies are built on fault lines apparently (the fault lines being extremely compelling shinichi-right art from japanese fanartists). oh well.

AESPATENT (vogue, seventeen, huya, basically everything from next level era)

it's funny to think about this ("this" referring to being a MY or whatever. im aespa paen is what im trying to say) now after being neutral to neutral-negative about aespa from debut to uhh honestly right before next level. but god when your multimillion dollar company fucks up ur debut by getting u embroiled in plagiarism controversies and barely does anything to stem the bullying rumors that is what happens...

they are just sweet girls! even tho giselle really looks lost sometimes. i know i and the tl have somewhat affectionately dubbed her "friendly neighborhood abg" and like it's true. what are you doin here girl! you should be hosting the gbm for kasa or something! or getting tickets to uh, edc, i dont know! she's cute tho i am always reminded of how just how online she is whenever she posts shit on bubble that's so clearly from stan twitter. idk! mixed feelings! sometimes shit is crazy on here and i wish she wouldn't have to see it!

ningning has superior music taste to like, all gen z idols, [insert that one tweet about how ningning is who yang2 wishes he could be], takes the best it-girl pictures, IS the moment... she's seriously one of my fav idols currently. also the fact that she ~coyly checks herself out when she's monitoring her own performances (according to winrina it's like she's trying to seduce herself??? LOL). and the weirdass face she made on that radio?? she's like chenle in that they both 沒有偶像包袱/aka have little regard for idol image... i love it. also stayed up to watch aespa's first huya live and not that i ever doubted it but she really is 10x funnier in chinese. the whole live she was getting teased by the huya commenters bc she said she's played pubg for 4-6 years but it... clearly didn't show LOL. she sucked at it (affectionately). the entire floating comments section for her stream was "hahaha 4-6 years?" (countless 哈哈哈這是五六年的水平嗎?). but she's perfect. to me.

karina karina... ah the burden of being the ace. like she really is so good tho, despite whatever u might think of her bc of the uhhhh controversies. aespa's knowing bros ep was basically lackluster as hell, not to the fault of any of the girls, but like. the weird set up and overly male focus made it nearly unwatchable. the few parts i did enjoy were the talent bits where the girls got to show a bit of what they got and karina was certainly. well. she made a point. she makes several points in the tiktok challenge video actually. (ik winter won somehow, but lbr karina Killed those dances). also her hair is mesmerizing in the studio choom video for next level. idk she just seems like a very image-conscious well-meaning leader. she does give off queen bee vibes upon first watch/introduction, but with my recent dive into aespatent i feel like that's not really her at all.

winter's awful extensions were a point of constant complaint for me this entire era but more importantly im obsessed with her evil girl look... it's very sexy to me and i wish they would just let her have short hair!! somebody tell the stylists it's okay if not all four members of a girl group have waist length hair... ok i'll shut up about the hair. also she's clearly one of the most variety-savvy members of the group, she's quite quick to come up with responses (reminds me of haechan a lil) and i think she's blunt in a way that could potentially make people not so fond of her but personally i like it... also the fact that she just has cat snacks in her purse at all times so she can feed the cats from the hair salon they go to automatically gets points from me.

idk how this turned into A Review Of Each Aespa Member rather than like cataloguing aespa content specifically but to be fair most of this was watched in may and i already do not remember specifics. anyway, im aespa paen.

*DREAMTENT to be separate post (if i ever get around to it) ♡ 


READING(ish)*

*still more webtoons/visual novels/webnovels than actual novels but uh. i read!

webnovel: remarried empress (ongoing) ★★★★☆

this is truly in the same category as trashy ya romance novels that middle school/high school me read bc i literally read anything and everything back then (not saying i have any better taste now but it was just more excusable back then. you know.) but like? the story is compelling!! maybe it's that the author uses the universal desire of satisfying and justified revenge as impetus for the entire storyline, but i am enjoying the ride! maybe it's the added visual aid of the webtoon that helps me more vividly imagine and experience the novel but like, sometimes you just want ur beautiful hets (a queen estranged and cheated on by her shitty husband of a king with a social climbing former-slave girl mistress + a young single charming charismatic etc etc king from the neighboring kingdom with lots of persona fuckery and magic powers and SECRETS) to get together... i'm totally rating this by how i feel and not how objectively good it is (prob more like 3.5/5) but it's honestly decent. like on some level this IS guilty pleasure but it's not THAT guilty. im not ashamed to admit i like reading it ctfu.

webtoon: see you in my 19th life (ongoing) ★★★★☆

one of my favorite webtoons by far! i do love me some reincarnation trope. there's something so melancholic about it when it's done right (to me). the korean title is 이번 생도 잘 부탁해 or "please take care of me in this life as well" which is a mouthful i suppose, but i just like it a lot more. this author was the same one who did "it's a good day to be a dog" and i liked that one as well so i knew i could trust their storytelling with this one... bam jieun (main char who undergoes reincarnation) is just the perfect amount of shameless and Cool Girl that gets me completely. not to get political but jieun definitely α while seoha (male lead) is either β or Ω... idk again it's about the "one guy knowing everything while the other guy knows nothing." it's so good.

miscellaneous 

stuff i read but either haven't finished or don't really feel the need to expound on (or both) include: (novels) mexican gothic, the chaos of stars; (visual 'reading') omniscient reader's pov, solo leveling, other assorted webtoons from the line webtoon app, assorted bl manhua/hwa/ga


LISTENING

music for the last 30 days (i so so wish you could do 60 days):

top artists:
1. nct dream
2. olivia rodrigo
3. doja cat
4. mr. hong
5. magdalena bay

top albums:
1. hello future - nct dream
2. sour - olivia rodrigo
3. cafe p.m - mr. hong
4. a little rhythm and a wicked feeling - magdalena bay
5. amala - doja cat

top tracks:
1. life is still going on - nct dream
2. bungee - nct dream
3. tia tamera (ft. rico nasty) - doja cat
4. hello future - nct dream
5. brutal - olivial rodrigo

lisgo is first, as deserved!! seriously best song ever i will love and defend it forever.... although bungee is also very good and i like hello future a decent amount as well. my stats kinda fucked up bc i would probably never have streamed sour out of my own volition but anon asked me for my thoughts on it and i was like... why not! since this is the last 30 days this is really missing my uhhhh doja cat and magdalena bay streaming party from early june/late may... killshot and tia tamera have been constantly on repeat for me (or at least they were) until dream came barreling in with helpyu repack.... not that i am complaining. it's okay if my scrobbles get fucked up for dream! also i want to say last.fm isn't the best representation of all my music intake bc i do a fair bit of it on youtube as well!

IN CONCLUSION

re: writing.... um i've basically been today i give you nothing and tomorrow i also give you nothing for the past two and a half months. i keep wondering where my time is going and what i'm doing if not writing but ummmm it turns out i've probably answered at least 100 ccs in the past week, 200 in the past month. so that's where all my time and typing is going. not that i don't love engaging in some thoughtful discussion re: dreamtent with anons bc i really do! buuuuuut i probably need to control the impulse to type out giant cc essays when i have n amounts of wips that need finishing... nahyuck sequel has been 85% done since like the beginning of may and i'm just procrastinating big time on it... i need to stop promising it'll be done by x date lmao bc i think that's a sure way to guarantee that i won't finish it by that date ㅠ_ㅠ i wish it weren't so but... it is what it is...

also kinda meta but typing up this post itself was actually an effort and a half! serves me right for letting my media consumption pile up but seriously cataloguing 2+ months of content into one post is Not Very Fun... although i did have some fun being a hater in the gossip girl section, which is what inspired me to finally finish this up and post it. anyway, i'm hoping to get the sequel out by at least this month and then... it will be wip roulette to see what gets done next. (sorry model au). 

here's to a more productive and focused july (i say like july isn't half over)!
catch me on twt or cc ♡ 







sarcoline: (Default)

think we should abolish ship names and go back to the tumblr days when all the ship tags were like “otp: [quote of something they said to each other]”

— cait 🦋 (@rodrigoswifts) January 17, 2021

if this post looks familiar, it's because i jacked the idea from[personal profile] stoplight, who responded to my proposition of nominifying it with "omg yes ofc! [knows nothing about nomin] do they actually say things about e/o" which... well... okay, i guess nomin is more of a "one of them (usually jaem) looking at the other like they want to kiss" type of otp, but they do say things! i promise. this is not the pending jaemjen manifesto but allow me to show you some nomin brainrot regardless (.◜◡◝)


it's less about the words and more about how they say them ♡

no. 20
"it's exactly what jaemin hates"


who said it: jeno
context: march 2021 huya live — staff bring out a cake for renjun's birthday, jeno takes one look at it and says that the combination of flavors is exactly what jaemin dislikes.
commentary: like unprovoked?? apropos of nothing? when you know someone so much it's just second nature to bring them up as a way to comment on things. knowing each other tally: 1

no. 19
"he's a very unique friend"


who said it: jeno
context: 2020 valentines day baking video — jaemin's making weird noises and generally pulling 4d silly shit during the process of making this brownie cake thing, and jeno just turns to the camera, the office style, and says, "he's a very unique friend, so please be considerate."
commentary: jeno lee our angel who doesn't know anger. this youtube comment says it best: "jeno even roasts people in sweetheart language"

no. 18
"he's like a puppy"


who said it: jaemin
context: 2019 hello counselor backstage interview — jaemin's asked what jeno's charming points are and he says "jeno's charm? he's like a puppy. if i don't get up and make him food, he comes up on my bed and gets me up."
commentary: we get it. you love it when he has to beg you to do things. but also this is the first thing that comes to your mind when someone asks you what's charming about jeno? that he begs u for food like a dog? sdkjfasldkf jeno i am so sorry.


no. 17
"jeno knows it best"


who said it: jaemin
context: hot sauce era: nahyuck dream vs dream — jaemin asks haechan "what's my favorite dog breed" and haechan struggles with it. a lot. so jaemin gives him hints in the form of "jeno." "where's jeno? jeno knows it best, i think."
commentary: NOT to rub salt in the wound (and also bc nahyuck dvd is a whole different can of worms), but jaemin rly can't keep jeno's name out his mouth huh! they know each other. jaemin's confidence in jeno knowing him but also saying this because he thinks jeno looks like a samoyed. the layers to this. knowing each other tally: 2

no. 16
"he matches me well"


who said it: jaemin
context: nct 2020 enquete survey — all of the members are asked to fill out a survey with multiple questions about who is the most ____? jaemin answers "who has the same taste as you?" with jeno.
commentary: jaemin then goes on to clarify that it's not exactly that they have the same taste, but that jeno is kind of... gullible... easy, if you will. his agreeableness off the charts (if you've seen his hexaco results on mental camp, you know). jeno just matches jaemin well :')

no. 15
"it's just... really comfortable"


who said it: jaemin
context: may 2021 fansign video call — a fan asks him what it's like rooming with jeno again after so long and jaemin says, "it's just... really comfortable. we've been roommates before since we were trainees, so even if we don't make conversation, it just feels very comfortable."
commentary: domesticity is the name of the game and nomin are winning at it at all times.

no. 14
"my name is jeno"


who said it: jaemin
context: 180406 smtown in dubai — nct dream is introducing themselves and jaemin confidently, with hand gestures and all, says "my name is jeno," pauses for a whole two seconds while all of his members gape at him, and then hurriedly corrects himself—"i mean jaemin."
commentary: ok i know this sounds like a gag but truly, is there love greater than straight up being your soulmate? the convergence of you and the object of your affections, when you love someone so much that you become them, etc. please excuse the tinhat for what is otherwise an utterly embarrassing moment for not only jaemin but also jaemin stans as well.

no. 13
"but jaemin doesn't like milk"


who said it: jeno
context: 2018 cooking vlive — a handful of members (dream + kun) are making fruit bingsu and haechan insists on adding milk. none of the others seem to care or know what's going on, but jeno tells them explicitly that jaemin doesn't like milk. haechan ends up adding a bunch and renjun says they need it to grow. jeno's words go unheeded and ignored (இ﹏இ`。)
commentary: ok not to nahyuck on a nomin post but the antagonisms started in their youth, i am 100% sure of that. jeno the world's best boy keeps trying to make a stand for milk-hater jaemin, but haechan is haechan u know... and so jeno just ends up looking at the camera guiltily for the rest of the time. when u try and fail to defend ur bf. it's cute :(

no. 12
"jaemin knows me so well"


who said it: jeno
context: 180922 nct dream everland fansign — a fan asks what the first thing jeno wants to do when he turns 20, he says driving; she asks with who, he says jaemin; she asks why, he says "it's jaemin, because he knows me so well"
commentary: he said the first thing he wants to do when he's 20 is drive around with jaemin ㅠ_ㅠ ok... he is always on the brain i see... coming of age with ur bestie. doing bestie things. also another reiteration of them Knowing Each Other. tally: 3

no. 11
"honey, look here"


who said it: jaemin
context: under the blankets ep 2 — jaemin's trying to get jeno's attention while jeno's washing dishes so that he can take a photo of him. he accidentally calls jeno "yeobo" aka darling/honey when he asks, saying, "yeobo- yeobo? yeogi boseyo (look over here please)!"
commentary: i'm taking this as a freudian slip. this entire series was them playing house anyway. jeno barely reacts to it, and if jaemin hadn't brought attention to it and just played it off, maybe none of us would've even noticed.

no. 10
"i'm jaemin you're jeno"


who said it: jeno
context: oct 2019 bike ride date #1 — jeno's referencing the aforementioned "my name is jeno" moment from smtown dubai during their little intro section for the biking vlog.
commentary: it's one thing to accidentally call yourself your other half but to play it up intentionally is another thing entirely. they are never letting this shit go and i love it. identity theft as a form of affection. <3

no. 9
"i love you, jeno-ya"


who said it: jaemin
context: 2019 jaemjen battle trip — jaemin at the end of their trip unveils the message on the led board that he'd secretly paid to have written the day before. the weather that day was bad and they didn't get to do all the things they'd planned to, but jaemin tells jeno to close his eyes and then basically does this kdrama-esque confession.
commentary: this is so. sooo much. i mean given what we know about the battle trip lore this quote and moment will always be kind of bittersweet to me (and hence why it isn't higher up on the ranking), but jaemin is just so full of love despite his performative bastardisms. T__T jeno he just wants to love u.

no. 8
"you had no choice but me"


who said it: jaemin
context: 191222 fanmeeting — jeno's asked by kwanghee to choose his best friend out of 6dream by hugging them from behind while the rest of them close their eyes and jeno chooses... u guessed it, na jaemin. kwanghee then asks jaemin how he feels about being chosen as jeno's best friend.
commentary: jaemin's smug face as he feels jeno's arms around him, his stupid little victory dance afterwards (accompanied with a "oh yeah oh yeah")... the confidence with which he says, "jeno had no choice [but to choose me] for this. i knew i'd be picked." like okay? he's sooo smug about it!! stop it!! also knowing each other: 4


no. 7
"drink less coffee"


who said it: jeno
context: may 2020 nct dream the stage — they all have to go around and say something to the person next to them in a circle, and this is jeno's message to jaemin. amongst other things: "it's been 8 years" "drink less coffee" "eat less sugar" "it might make you sick"
commentary: jaemin actually echoes some of jeno's words here in the softest voice possible, refuting some of the statements ("i don't drink that much coffee") and resigning himself to others ("i should eat less sugar")... and throughout this entire thing he's like.. hyper-aware of the camera, glancing at it every two sentences and i am just. if u knew how i feel. anyway, looking out for ur resident caffeine + sugar addict's bodily health is a love language.

no. 6
"we have our own world that belongs to us"


who said it: jeno
context: july 2020 arena homme+ interview — jeno's asked the question "it must have felt like you are continuously growing with the dream members without changing classes" and he answers "though i'm slightly tired of jaemin whom i've been seeing for 7-8 years, hahaha. when one of us buys something, we end up buying it together. we have our own world that belongs to us."
commentary: UM. #this_kills_the_man idk what else to say about it. like we get it. everyone else around them is just thirdwheeling or shipping enthusiastically (chenle). also the added mention of their couple items so casually. it's no wonder that chinese nomin shippers on weibo don't even care about matching clothes anymore. it's just standard for them.

no. 5
"jeno is mine"


who said it: jaemin
context: 2019 huya live — jaemin jeno and chenle are introducing themselves as each other, with chenle going "hi i'm jeno" first. jaemin and jeno go to follow, but then jaemin does a double take and says "jeno is mine. 'i'm jeno' is mine." chenle kinda looks at him like "um... ok then"
commentary: the way that this is literally about a joke (even worse it's one of jaemin's most embarrassing moments bc he slipped up in front of thousands of people and yet—). like is this really something worth being possessive over? is it that serious? oh, i forgot we were talking about na jaemin. of course it is. leo men.

no. 4
"then i will give myself to him"


who said it: jeno
context: 2018 banpo fansign — a fan asks jeno what he gave jaemin for his birthday, jeno says he asked but jaemin didn't tell him what he wanted yet. she asks "what if he says he doesn't want anything?" jeno responds with—
commentary: i KNOW. in context it's likely that jeno was trolling or trying to be funny but the words. the phrase. the implication. the gentle devastation of how jeno just says shit like this. iykyk. again. um... anyway i'm sure jaemin would like that very much.

no. 3
"we both are just one body"
"then when we die, we die together?"


who said it: both
context: 190603 battlegrounds gameplay and mukbang — jaemin and jeno are shooting at a pc bang, playing pubg, and jaemin's talking about how they should stick together during the game. the full conversation goes:
jaemin: jeno-ya, we should go together
jeno: come here
jaemin: please let's go together. we both are just one body.
jeno: then when we die, we die together? 
jaemin: yeah that's right.
commentary: ok if you follow me on twitter you already know that i am guy who thinks being the same person is the most romantic thing in the universe! in addition to their bodyswap "i am jeno" and "i am jaemin" moments, this is literally the most incredible exchange that could've ever happened to contribute to this agenda. yes i know it was in the context of pubg, but STILL. it is not everyday ur otp literally has a 一心同体 (one in body and sou,l of one flesh; two hearts beating as one) moment. it is not everyday ur otp says when we die we die together!! 


no. 2
"i just know you"


who said it: jaemin
context: 2020 "year of the dragon dream graph" with dispatch on vlive — they're supposed to be drawing life graphs for the (lunar) new year
jeno: before we start!
jaemin: what is it all of the sudden?
jeno: everybody, 1, 2, 3....
both, bowing in sync: happy new year!
jeno: how did you know that i was gonna do that?
jaemin: i just know you
commentary: the direct korean translation of what jaemin actually said would be "i had the feeling," but that's even worse somehow; like, jaemin has A Jeno Feeling. he just knew instinctively what jeno would do. the onscreen captions for that moment also say "[knows everything without talking to each other]," which is... fine. that's totally cool. the soulmatery continues. jaemin and jeno are already sync in so many of their actions, you would think jeno would know that by now. something something being in a relationship and not knowing u are in one. knowing each other tally: 5

no. 1
"stop liking me"
"you liked me first"


who said it: both
context: nct 2018 yearbook behind the scenes — the first on-camera jaemjen moment post-jaem hiatus, when they were filming for nct 2018 teasers and jeno is half on jaemin's lap on a couch.
commentary: the words themselves are kind of anti-otp? but in a cheeky way. but like, you get it right. neither of them are denying the liking, it's just semantics about how much and who liked who first. like hello?? So You Are In Love With Each Other. idk maybe this ranking is skewed by the fact that it was such formative moment for the jaemjen canon as we know it today... the question of whether their dynamics were going to be affected by jaemin's year-long hiatus, whether they were still like the sopa highschoolers we knew, attached at the hip like magnets; all of these doubts rendered moot by a mere minute-long clip of them flirting on top of each other like jaemin had never left at all.



some final thoughts: finding the appropriate quotes for this was actually a little more difficult than i expected, but the more i thought about it the more it made sense; jeno by nature is somewhat reserved and reticent (at least verbally), while jaemin says a lot of words but somehow manages to say nothing at all. it's hard to find those truly tender-hearting quotes (a la a certain maknae) because so much of their relationship and so many of their moments are defined by disgustingly tender actions rather than words. (also both of them are better at repressing than jisung is, sorry to throw him under the bus like this but it is true). so many of their quotes are just some permutation of "i know you," which, god. they Know Each Other So Much. married couples don't feel the need to constantly and verbally reassert that they're married is the conclusion, i guess.

oh also.

knowing each other total: ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡



sarcoline: (jemmin1)
feb media roundup, thoughts on song joongki and why his latest dramas are... you know, and i know it's already march 16th happy belated birthday to steph curry (shout out chenle)
before i get into it. yes, this was supposed to go up mid march, as evidenced by the cut title, to summarize my february media consumption. unfortunately iirc finals/projects drop kicked me and i ended up letting this rot in my gdrive until crys posted hers today, making me remember that i did it at all. it’s half-complete so i’ll be using this as a catch-all for the more notable parts of my media consumption from feb-april. (i don’t think i have it in me to create entirely separate posts for march or april at this point lol, tbh the only reason this is going up is bc of cryscha). take my vincenzo review with a grain of salt, i was clearly a different person at the time.

WATCHING (vincenzo, assorted variety)

vincenzo (2021), prefaced w/ a song joongki rant

oh, song joongki. one of my favorite k-actors circa early 2010s. he of sungkyunkwan scandal (2010), the innocent man (2012), and a werewolf boy (2012).

now, i don't purport to know anything about the exact process in which mister song joongki chooses his projects, but based on the evidence i have acquired, along with my own personal extrapolation, i do have a few conjectures. i propose it goes a little something like this:

1. sjk receives a roster of potential acting jobs from his agent.
2. he eliminates those with anything resembling plot or complexity. even the faintest hint of it will disqualify the project from consideration.
3. he puts the remaining options on a rotating wheel.
4. he blindfolds himself and then throws a dart.
5. boom. next project chosen.

unbelievable, i know. fantastical, even. however, it's the only plausible explanation for why his projects post-military hiatus have been, for lack of a better word, utter shite.

descendants of the sun (2016) was song joongki's first major project in dramaland post-service, and it was certainly... Something. with a script written by kim eunsook, the creative force behind other hit dramas like the heirs (2014) and secret garden (2010), dots was practically destined to be a giant blockbuster series as well. and it Was. visually stunning but so empty—besides its a-list cast, the show sustained itself through its 16 episode run through visual aesthetic and key emotional moments overlaid with its robust roster of dramatic soundtracks alone. arthdal chronicles (2019), sjk's next major drama was even worse in that not only did it not have anything resembling a compelling plot, its attempts to interweave a poorly executed game of thrones-style world building with a vaguely asian yet neanderthal-ish focus fell painfully flat. the awful cg did not help either, and i could really only make it through three and a half episodes before deciding not to pursue it any longer. so given that i've been burned this badly twice by sjk's post-hiatus projects, u would think that i'd learn to stay away, right?

unfortunately no.

this brings me to vincenzo (2021).

vincenzo is a series about vincenzo cassano (our song joongki), a korean-italian mafia consigliere/lawyer who ends up moving back to korea after the italian mafia boss who adopted him dies, for the purposes of 1) escaping the boss's biological son who is jealous of vincenzo's capabilities and fears his power and therefore tries to assassinate him and 2) to recover a stash of gold he hid in korea for a chinese tycoon a few years ago, who has since died of a drowning accident (unrelated to vincenzo himself). did i lose you there? the most important piece of exposition is that vincenzo is now in korea, determined to unearth the goldmine underneath this run-down plaza that is currently being disputed over by a rising conglomerate called babel, that has unsavory connections in every influential sector, from the medical industry to the journalism + news industry. there are countless overt similes about how in south korea, companies like babel are the "real mafia," drawing the obvious comparison to vincenzo's gangster past. this show is so unsubtle it hurts, but that's really not where the hurting stops.

as of writing this episodes 7 and 8 are out, and i have not yet watched them. i'm pretty confident in saying that the six episodes i have watched, however, are sufficient for me to get a hold of what the rest of this show is going to be like. if i listed out my gripes with every single episode we would be here for hours, and fortunately i would not subject anyone to the torture of thinking about a drama like vincenzo for that long, ever.

number one on this show's long list of sins is the fact that vincenzo literally loses the plot halfway through the beginning episodes. i know the premise sets him up to be some kind of anti-hero due to his not-quite legal past and dubious morals, but the amount of utterly banal and inane things he ends up doing for the sake of the plaza's residents are lowkey insane. i keep forgetting that his ultimate goal is to get to the gold vault constructed below the ground of the plaza because there are so many side plots that detract him from even thinking about getting it. not to mention, the residents themselves are lowkey insane. clearly we're meant to feel pity for them as the powerless tenants of this run-down plaza whose eviction is inevitable due to the pressures of the big bad (babel group), but they are truly nonsensical to an alarming degree. instead of sympathy or pity the only emotion their antics elicit out of me is pure bewilderment.

number two is the lack of scale regarding money and resources coupled with the watered down ways in which vincenzo carries out both his mafia and non-mafia machinations. i know vincenzo is well off, but if he's well off enough to throw a spontaneous "italian-korean diplomatic relations party" with an apparently nationwide attendance (the actual number of guests shown did not even amount to the population of a small high school, don't know what they were doing with the lack of continuity on that part) to prevent the demolition of the plaza then what is literally stopping him from paying off lawyers and law enforcement to ensure that the plaza ownership is his. he also pulls a lot of mafia scare tactics, but instead of the show giving us the exciting and interesting play by play of what he does, it focuses only on the aftermath and the victims' reactions. maybe it's just me, but if we are getting an ex-mafia member as the main character, i want to see the gangster actually pulling off gangster shit? we do get a few threatening / blackmail scenes, which are arguably the most enjoyable scenes in this clusterfuck of a drama, but there is still so much left to be desired.

number three is kind of a major spoiler, so will be rot13'ed in the event that you actually plan on watching this trainwreck, even after reading my diatribe up until now.

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so up until this point i was still on the fence about whether to take this drama seriously at all, whether to approach it with any modicum of critical thinking, and after this scene i fully resigned myself to just watching, head empty no thoughts. after all, i tuned in for Song Joongki Suit Porn in the first place. would it have been nice if vincenzo was a decent drama that made even the slightest bit of sense? yes. is it being decent necessary for me to continue watching? no, absolutely not. and i will continue to watch for the absurdity and the suits.

EDIT: may 2021 mich here to say these feelings are still valid but i now consider vincenzo a masterpiece in its absurdity. that is all. sorry for criming and having no faith in u song joongki but please can u not scare me with the absurdity of ur next project… sorry i hate fun i just prefer seeing him in melodramas T__T a la the innocent man (2012)

variety: run bts ep. ???, nct dream mafia lab

i have admittedly not been in the loop wrt the bangtan variety circuit for a while, but when i saw the teaser for this one. hello. besides the obvious kookmin bait (c'mon, kate minslet and leo jungcaprio?), the idea of these seven disasters arguing/debating/whatever over inane topics like egg vs peas on jjajangmyun or soft peach vs hard peach sounded like prime television drama already. the antics all of them pull when faced with a topic they have to defend to the end, plus the ripe chance of sabotage by water attack every two seconds... hard to say which one was my favorite part. (also an aside that makes me sound lowkey insane but why was jimi the only one they covered up the n*ps for… one of my mutuals said sth about hiding a nip piercing and i almost had a stroke.)

nct dream mafia lab seems like forever ago. tbqh i can only really recall the dreamies’ jensung agenda, jaemin being utterly gremlin and frustrating during ep 3, and… not much else. there was the mysterious blurred out object but i’m almost 100% it was some sort of dick or boobs joke. like, it’s mark. so you know.

7llin is its own beast so i’ll tackle that in a separate post if/when i get the time AND remember to do so.

to-watch list: sk8, the new run ep(?? apparently there is km), the handmaiden (rewatch when?)
to-finish list: tgcf donghua, dream in wonderland (still)


READING(ish)*

*my Actual Literature consumption is still quite abysmal. this section continues to be filled with a majority of visual media including manga, webtoons, webnovels, etc

manhua / webnovel: like wind on a dry branch

started reading this one maybe in january or february but it slipped my mind. which is strange because i actually enjoy it so much. the chinese translation is ahead of the english one, so it’s a testament to my interest that i read it in both anyway. the setting is historical/royalty/regency and the art is pretty, but what drew me the most was the dialogue. it’s just so biting and clever and fitting to the time period... and the chemistry the two leads have is electric, but doesn’t overshadow the plot (which is pretty complex and fun in and of itself.)

i don’t really have much to add for reading consumption. been kinda delving back into some classic oldfic but that’s probably just for nostalgia’s sake or something.

to finish:jjk prequel manga


LISTENING

so i didn't exactly get back into listening to podcasts... maybe march/april is the month? (editing mich in may 2021 is here to tell u that it was not the month)

wait actually, i lied. i did listen to two or three episodes of a bdsm podcast in mandarin chinese and took notes for a friend because they needed it for the (fic) research. setting aside how bizarre that sounds, it was actually pretty interesting to see the details of that side of the internet, especially in a different culture. admittedly i have not done much research myself on the topic, in mandarin or otherwise, so it was certainly eye-opening! also, the podcast host is quite funny and clearly dedicated/serious about his area of expertise, which made it a comfortable listen despite the oftentimes racy/explicit subject matter.

music for the last 30 days:

top artists:
1. chase atlantic
2. purple kiss
3. woodz
4. shygirl
5. snsd

top albums:
1. into violet - purple kiss
2. chase atlantic - chase atlantic
3. (tie) point of view - seclorum
4. (tie) staydom - stayc
5. (tie) set - woodz

top tracks:
1. asap - stayc
2. (tie) right here - chase atlantic
3. (tie) drunk-dazed - enhyphen
4. (tie) spider - hoshi
5. (tie) in the morning - itzy

chase atlantic is writing music (iykyk) and i caught gg fever like two or three weeks ago, which explains the purple kiss and stayc appearances. woodz is korean r&b which is usually what i listen to along w/ normie music, and the snsd is because my dad ONLY wanted to listen to their title tracks on one of our long drives lmao.


IN CONCLUSION

so it does turn out that i (kind of) have the mental fortitude to make this a (semi) consistent monthly thing. i'm half a month late, but better than never, right?

so i’ve learned that monthly is a bit ambitious for my work ethic. maybe. there’s roughly a 50/50 chance that i’ll get it together enough to return in june for my may media roundup. don’t hold your breath but also don’t be surprised if i somehow pull through. i did end up posting low effort pwp three times in april, which is three more times than i had planned, so i don’t think i can be too harsh on myself (even though none of them are the thing i am supposed to have gotten done by now). i do eventually want to get model au out of the gdrive but with the amount of ~small projects i have let myself get sidetracked by… i’m not making any more promises. hopefully may is slightly more organized for me ♡ and ty to cha and crys for convincing me to latepost regardless 

feel free to drop some thoughts/recs down below or via
twt or cc!









sarcoline: (tomer hanuka)
consuming five forms of media simultaneously in order to eliminate the option of thinking (this is not a cry for help), and other things like that

WATCHING (jujutsu kaisen, variety, bp concert)

anime: jujutsu kaisen (2020)

i started watching this with my sibling during fall(?) of last year and immediately rushed to read the manga as soon as i finished episode 4 or 5... it is so delightfully good. disclaimer i have not yet read the prequel manga series (but i have spoiled myself through fandom wikia which is usual behavior from me) so everything i say about jjk will be from that perspective!

i think i've always had a bone to pick with typical shounen protagonists being, well, you know, shounen, self-sacrificial lamb, noble white knighting, etc etc, (don't ask me to name names) but somehow i do NOT mind it on yuuji. the way he handles sukuna (whose character design is a trap bc i see him and immediately the latent villainf#cker chip in my brain makes itself known), is so refreshing to see because he clearly doesn't fully understand the magnitude of the predicament he is in and yet he doesn't make anything easy for sukuna.

my favorite, though, takes the form of obnoxious (are we even surprised at this point) overpowered overlord supreme jujutsu tech teacher gojo satoru. he is just So. so much. in the literal sense. as a person, as a sorcerer, as a single entity that exists in media. gojo is so chaotic, and yet, somehow i feel like if you just considered, "hey, what would an utterly unhinged person do" you could probably guess which choices he would make with about 80% accuracy. besides all the superficial outward reasons, ie. tall, platinum blond, mappa's godly baby Blue eyes, Long Ass Eyelashes (wtf), and overwhelming competence as a jujutsu sorcerer combined with underwhelming performance as any sort of responsible guardian to yuuji, gojo appeals to me because he is the embodiment of Loneliness At The Top while having to bear the entire weight of being the best, strongest, most capable in this world and keeping that devil-may-care attitude and shit-eating grin on his face. it's just all so much all the time. but if anyone knows me, they know that i like Too Much All The Time. obnoxious bastards with zero remorse for their actions, "what's you and what's the persona," "is there even a 'you' amongst the funhouse mirrors," etc etc, which is to say, this tracks.

megumi is a close second. i love my broody, mostly-dark haired boys (see: kags, shouto etc etc). and megumi isn't even that broody, he's just straight-laced for the most part, but his dynamics with yuuji are exquisite. hyper-competent nerd with head-empty no-think muscle is a match made in heaven. nobara is hilarious, gutsy, has gumption and her idol-worship of maki is something i relate to on a spiritual level. the countless times i've seen maki in action and just whispered outloud "she's so fucking cool" is unreal. because she is, so fucking cool. maki could step on me anytime any day and i don't say this lightly. other favorites include inumaki and okkotsu. love men who don't speak.

tbqh i probably should've waited until after reading the prequel manga series before writing this up but my media consumption habits are erratic at best, sporadic at worst, and definitely not anywhere close to being in the realm of consistent, so it's best not to expect too much out of me anyway. i digress. will update on jjk when finish those though!

variety: dream in wonderland, ridin club (2020)

i started dream in wonderland mid-december. figured it was finally time to watch content that was made in 2020, while it was still 2020 (and not cling onto puff lives as my sole basis of characterization/rpf plotting of the dreamies but idk if i that was really that successful on that front). to nobody's surprise, jaemin remains my favorite gremlin. he is SO random. so obnoxious. wildly unpredictable (but not really). are you beginning to see a pattern bc i am. chenle's extreme confidence and his lack of shame is so endearing to me. in chinese there's a phrase "就出一張嘴" which translates approximately to "to be all talk," and i suppose it usually has a somewhat derogatory/negative connotation but i really feel like it applies to chenle in the best way. dream needs someone with that kind of overwhelming confidence in themselves; it improves team morale by miles. this reads like a drag but i promise you it isn't. i love chenle, what a mood maker. ofc i can't end dream content w/o mentioning my number one agenda. the wink jaemin that sent jeno as he shot off to the other side of the zipline, and jeno's resulting panicked "euh? wh-wh-what the hell" will sustain me for months. idec if jeno pretends like jaem doesn't exist for the next era (just kidding i do, jeno please do not do that). as of typing this i am still on episode nine. sorry my attention span is akin to that of a squirrel. sometimes even if u love 5 men its not enough to watch them melt sugar for half an episode.

i did finish ridin club, however, and it is fucking hilarious. it opened my eyes to the dream team of jaemle. i know/think they're not as popular as other ships, but their teamwork is elite, and i love how i got to see njm adjust his competitiveness for chenle in real time. jaemin's scary competence on the biking arcade game was very sxc, it's nice to see him serious about winning for once, and the lil jaemren crumbs (rj's "woah Na Jaeminnnn") were cute. in lav's voice "rj isn't interested in men unless they do sum shit ya know." also the amount of times jaem has to carry/lift chenle or demonstrate any sort of physical effort... well i am but a simple young woman... i can only say i was Looking. and not to continue w/ jaem drivel but him just vibing in the corner/background on a hoverboard was so fkin cute. what the hale.

concert: blackpink the show (jan 2021)

including this bc it was truly a spectacular experience. incoming bitter nctzen feelings but god the production on this shit was balls to the wall insane. could you imagine nct performing with a live band? like, even just a fraction of whatever yg shelled out for these girls. still not over the piecemeal shit show that was nct beyond live... sm is so sick for this truly.

on to the actual concert: the outfits were incredible. i may not have agreed with every single fit aesthetically but they all have the charisma and body type (skinny lmao lbr) to pull whatever their stylists decide to go with. my favorites definitely include rosie's first silvery dress with no straps and jennie's remix solo dress. the puffer ensemble during their last stage on rosé grew on me tbh! lisa's doja cat cover was pretty incredible actually... n jisoo's tove lo one was good too! but oh my god... rosé's solo is right up my alley, sad and moody and very rosé, kinda wish it was entirely live instead of being half-vcr (which got cut out lmao) but that's a minor gripe. overall 10/10 concert, sm wishes they could do this, i wish sm could do this, etc.

to-watch list: yokoku no moriarty, horimiya
to-finish list: tgcf donghua, dream in wonderland


READING(ish)*

*my Actual Literature consumption is quite abysmal. i do seem to have infinite time to follow webnovels/webtoons/etc though. so this is what this section is.

manga: jujutsu kaisen

haha you thought i was done with this one.... sike.

this is honestly one of the more text-heavy mangas i've read, and considering the fact that i binged approximately 80% of it in the span of two days, i feel like i should give it a re-read just to make sure i have all the plot points straight in my head. i've been keeping up with weekly updates and sometimes i feel like i hallucinated some of the chapters, there's just so much going on all the time. with hq at least all i was missing was which direction the ball went sometimes, but with jjk some action heavy scenes require excruciating attention to detail.

webtoon / webnovel: omniscient reader's viewpoint

started this in i want to say october or november of last year. fell off somewhere around chapter 130 or so? right before the holiday season. i'm not sure why, maybe finals? i still definitely want to finish this, and it was quite entertaining when i was reading it. i'm still reading and following along the webtoon, though. visual media seems to be easier to keep up with. for the record, i love the dokja-joonghyuk-sooyoung dynamix, the triangulation is very important to me! but yeah definitely had a phase in oct/nov where i retweeted orv/joongdok fanart for like maybe 10 days straight. yoo joonghyuk sexy, what can i say. please look this man up and the official webtoon art to see what i'm talking about. ur eyes will thank you. this is on my to-finish list. dokja, i will come back for you!

manhua / webnovel: tian guan ci fu (heaven's official blessing)

it's been a year since i've read this, but ree falling into the novel this past month got me back into my reread and i can say without a doubt tgcf is just as good the second time. (i still react outloud when i get to the good parts, and staying up to read it becomes routine because it just evokes such a feeling of 'oh my god? did that just happen?' and i never regret it until like 5pm the next day).

unfortunately the only form of media (discounting the novel reread) i'm caught up with is the manhua; i fell off the donghua train around ep 10? i think? or perhaps 11. (which is why i didn't include tgcf under watching lmao) not to say that the donghua's bad or anything because it's not at all—it's so incredibly good. i just can't explain my capricious urges to put a hold on watching/following things. i'll get around to it, soon probably. the donghua art is so clean and i absolutely love how haoliners just went for the jugular when they added gratuitous homoerotic lines that weren't even in the source text. (the flirting on the wagon? chefs kiss) everything about it is so good. ending and op are bangers i have them on my xianxia playlist, you already know the vibes.

the manhua has god-tier level art. i don't know how to adequately convey this in words, but it is truly beautiful beyond belief, somehow capturing the ethereal nature of xianxia, the passage of time that spans hundreds of thousands of years. the color palette is a bit dark, but it makes it more atmospheric and i really can't find any fault with the manhua at all. what does kill me tho is the absolute contrast between the donghua and manhua artstyles. i know its been memed to hell and back on twt but like, donghua san lang/hua cheng is such a fuckin virgin and manhua san lang/hua cheng is a total... idk how to say this... animal... he literally looks at xie lian like he's going to eat him and protect him at the same time and it's scary? but hot? which is how most people should feel about hua cheng i think.

webtoon / webnovel: the remarried empress

the art in this is ALSO immaculate. navier's character design is so beautiful, i want every single one of her dresses, her hairstyles are so intricate and regal and everything is just so pleasing to the eyes; soveishu is rotten to the core but he objectively is handsome too. started reading the webtoon maybe 3-4 months ago, and recently found translations for the webnovel. i didn't read the webnovel from start to finish, but the writing is good from what i've gotten to so far! excited to see how this unfolds and i can't wait for navier and heinley to finally be comfortable around each other because heinley is So Besotted and navier is so Repressed and this is the slowest slowburn to ever slowburn i am in pain. also never thought i'd be rooting for a het couple in 2021 but... deserved!

to finish: tgcf novel (reread), orv, jjk prequel manga, catch-22 (if i can find where it is)


LISTENING

i haven't really gotten back into podcasts since maybe last fall... fwiw i used to listen to chd (i know) and let me ruin your life by serena shahidi! i do want to get back into lmryl tbh... maybe february is the month?

radio: chen-ra (akdong seoul/yuedong seoul)

i know chenle's been hosting for a while now but i admittedly didn't really tune in until like.. maybe a month or two ago. he's great btw. soooo different from renjun's philosophical vibe. he's so blunt it's refreshing. whereas rj might've played along with the host on certain traditional concepts/ideals to some extent, cl's opinions are always pretty strong and he sticks to his guns for the most part. AND it's always funny to hear him talk abt markles like a son. pleasant background noise for daily 3am dissociation sesh.

music: niki/ari, kiana lede, more keshi, and lexie liu

if you've followed me on twitter for like.... i don't know, anytime longer than a month, you know about my abg music taste. jaemin's (i know ur thinking, damn doesn't this bitch ever shut up about him? no, and i'm sorry) relay cam really put the nail in the coffin for me. i've liked niki since maybe 2018-19 somewhere in between, and maintain that indigo is one of her best songs. jaemin the world's biggest arianator has me listening to ariana like it's 2014 again. lord. always down to listen to keshi for some sadboi vibes. it doesn't get old.

we need to talk about the gone gold ep by lexie liu. sometimes i'm not a huge fan of lexie's egregious use of autotune but there are occasions where i don't mind it at all. carousel is probably my fav song off the new ep. again, it's a s*x song but the wordplay is amazing and its a suuuuper sweet listen. i've loved her since 2017's sleep away... society when lexie liu collabs w/ kpop artists... [insert flying spaceships gif].

by nature i just tend to stay within my own bubble when it comes to music, so i'd definitely welcome any recs ♪( ´▽`)


IN CONCLUSION

i saw something on twitter along the lines of "logging every single thing i read or watch after i read or watch it gives me the same serotonin boost that i get crossing off items on a to-do list" and yeah, i'm inclined to agree—was this possibly a giant waste of time? maybe. is it likely that i might not have the mental fortitude to make this a consistent monthly thing? very likely. however, it was fun this time around, and if i can find it in myself to make it next month too, i'm sure ill be back with more unnecessary thoughts about stuff i have consumed!

if you've made it this far, thanks for reading and feel free to drop some thoughts/recs down below or via twt or cc 







sarcoline: (Default)
lachrymal @ cc answers, compiled for convenience. please remember to take older answers w/ a grain of salt! (last updated 7/18/21)

✨table of contents

▼ all things 잼젠

♡ nomin / jaemjen
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