the premise of this show is sooooo. weird. like i know they had to make it work within the same continuity as the og gossip girl so i give kudos for that but that's it. so whereas the original gossip girl had gossip girl actually be one of the students, this reboot frames impetus as an issue between the teachers and the students. like. the teachers are gossip girl. which I KNOW is pretty good way to incorporate it in the same verse but still. like execution-wise it baffles me to no end.

even given the class differences between the middle-to-middle-upper class teachers (because despite the show's attempt to portray otherwise, these teachers are not anywhere close to being "poor") and the filthy rich students, this is still... an abuse of authority at the most basic level?? like the fact that these children have seemingly endless indispensable wealth does not make it okay for teachers to ummm take and post pictures of them half-naked (esp considering that one of them is fifteen??? years old???) in order to enact petty revenge/keep them them "in check" like hello u are adults and these are minors... not to bring up age discourse etc etc but like seriously. and what's worse imo is that the entire child p^rn moment was actually lampshaded with a brief "ew i felt so gross taking these" "okay but.... For The Mission (of what exactly? controlling fifteen year-olds?)... we Must Use Them" *shrugs and takes the phone with the child p^rn anyway* LIKE THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED LMAO... ? made me feel gross and wtf??? and every other palpable emotion of disgust possible.

onto more subjective(?) things that i had problems with:

• the male love interest:
  • first of all, this guy looks like he's pushing 30 i was really surprised to see that apparently he is only 21????? [insert whatever comment abt yt men aging badly + also comment about how netflix shows cast ppl who look 10 years too old to be playing the age they're supposed to be].
  • secondly, i could see the love triangle coming miles away between zoya (middle-class new girl at constance billard) and julien (popular rich girl who is ""nice"" and zoya's step sister) and this dude (his name is obie? what the fuck). like it was painfully obvious and to be honest!! being predictable isn't inherently a bad thing but when it's predictable in a way that kills whatever interest i had in the sister/step-sister dynamic then. it is bad. to me.
  • thirdly HE ISNT EVEN THAT DESIRABLE??? ok im not one to speak bc like my type is questionable as well but at least mine are usually objectively beautiful!!! this guy not only (as previously mentioned) looks like he's at least a grad student but also ummm his only trait is being put-out boyfriend who's always used as a social media prop to julien who Misses The Old Her. like ok..... idk. not super compelling for me.
• the main teacher's voice is annoying as fuckkkk. she sounds like jennifer coolidge but like insufferable. like a cross between jennifer coolidge and the most annoying english teacher you've ever had.
• the references (olivia jade, ummm some others i don't quite remember) are always so close yet so far. i know technically they're relevant but somehow both the ones they choose to use in the show AND the ways in which they use them just miss the mark. it's like they did their research and just stopped shy of enough research that would make the dialogue that much less cringe and the background that much more realistic...
• the music was bad. maybe i'm just nostalgic for the old gg but ummm this music is Not it.

OK on to the ~good:

i love fucked up relationships, especially ones that are clearly centered around disaster human beings, which one of these characters certainly is: max, i think his name is, is a h^rny hedonist pansexual flirt who clearly means nothing but trouble and i think he's my favorite ^___^ im soooo interested to see how he affects the established couple (guy who is bicurious and girl who is seemingly uninterested in her own bf) who are clearly both interested him. like i am watching this show for him probably. and them. i am (unforch) watching this garbage show for this throuple. i hope they have complicated entanglements very much. and that's it.

also while i was typing up this post:

1:13 AM     me: i didnt consume that much media outside of kpop
1:13 AM     me: oh i watched sex ed and conan and one episode of gossip girl
1:14 AM     ripley: the first episode*
1:14 AM     ripley: you will be watching more

so um. look forward to more hate-watching next month i guess.